Would you tell someone if they’d lost weight?

Hey guys

I’m SO curious to find out how readers of my blog would answer this question. You see, not that long ago, I would have answered this with a resounding “YES” without any hesitation. Doesn’t everyone like a compliment? Doesn’t everyone like their hard work being noticed? However, I’ve been reading around online and, having seen other people’s perspectives, it’s making me question not only how I may feel about being asked the above question as I go forth on my own journey but what I would say to others who’ve lost weight. After all, it’s perhaps not a straightforward question.

Being told how my weight loss is visible has brought an extra spring to my step and me telling myself “YEEESSSSSSS. Go Erika! You’re rocking this!” It can be a positive reinforcement that what I’m doing is working and it encourages me to keep going. Perhaps compliments stroke my ego!!! But I know that people can find a comment like “Wow. You’ve lost so much weight. You look amazing” hard to take. From their perspectives, they can question how they looked pre-weight loss and even feel low or ashamed. And what if people don’t say anything at all. Is the weight loss not yet visible? Is there another reason behind this? Are they debating whether it’s okay with you if they comment?

I know from personal experience that being asked “You’re not going to lose more weight, are you?” isn’t an easy one. When I had atypical anorexia 9 years ago, friends were really concerned about me as the weight fell off and I looked very gaunt. I easily fitted into US size 8 / UK size 12 clothes but what they didn’t know (and nor did the professionals as I refused to get on the scales) was that my BMI was 27. I was overweight. I’ll reach that same point again when I get to 175 lbs so, if asked, do I need to justify my reason to keep going and have to admit that I’m actually still overweight so that they stop worrying? What I hope is that losing even more weight than before but far more slowly will actually result in me looking healthier. Because of Covid and seeing very few people since February 2020, hardly anyone knows that I’m on this weight-loss journey and I guess it’s human nature to be curious about whether people will say anything.

My conclusion? I think the way we take comments from others is a very individual thing. Some people will lap them up and be spurred on. Others may see comments as saying more about how they were prior to their transformation than how they look now and feel pretty low. For me, yes, I love a compliment but I feel that I’ve gained the ability to self-love and celebrate my own successes without replying on what others say. But I guess I can also understand that people who know about my life-threatening history of eating disorders could be reluctant to say anything in case I ‘take it too far’. And as for what I’d say to others? Perhaps I’ll be a bit more cautious and rather than go straight in with something weight-related, I might start with “Hey, how’re you doing?” to see what they say and gauge how a compliment would go down.

I’d love to know your thoughts on this.

Well, guys, hope you have a good weekend and I’ll be back on Monday with my next weigh-in.

Love Erika xx

2 thoughts on “Would you tell someone if they’d lost weight?

  1. You can control what you say. You can control inflection, word choice, and whether you say anything at all.

    You cannot control how someone else interprets what you say.

    Liked by 1 person

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