Coming out of lockdown… coming out to comments about weight loss – HELP!

Hey folks

My mid-week post coming a day early as it’d just be good to ‘chat’!

You know, I guess there are parts of this post that could also relate to those who’ve perhaps put on weight during the last year. Much of my life has gone remote with seeing clients online where just my shoulders and head are on show. I feel SO protected like this! I like the fact that others can’t see what lies beneath and I guess I could get very comfortable with being here…. perhaps a bit too comfortable. Virtually everyone I have seen face-to-face are either clients who see me as a one-off anyway or just random strangers if I’m out walking.

I shared last week that I’ve already had comments in the past 10 days from people who have seen me before (i.e. a pharmacy assistant and a builder) and have exclaimed “HOW much weight have you lost?” the moment they’ve laid eyes on me. The thing is that I know (or I guess) that such comments are very well intended and come from a really good place so I certainly don’t begrudge them. Even if I didn’t find myself currently battling an eating disorder, I think I’d feel some sense of awkwardness. Do I like compliments? Sometimes but not about my body. But when the two people have then gone on to ask how I’ve lost it, the last thing I want to say is “Well, you know, I’m battling atypical anorexia right now and I’m actually very poorly and my heart and kidneys aren’t doing great but, apart from that, yeah, just eating less and moving more“! People don’t need to know the truth and I don’t need to tell them. 3 friends, other than professionals, know what’s going on for me. But I feel that that once I crack the anorexic grip that’s dictating how many calories I’m eating, I will be in a better place. My understanding of eating and health have actually improved since the start of this journey. My mind has really changed in many good ways so I’m feeling positive that the weight isn’t going to go back on.

In the next few weeks, I’ll be back to a voluntary job I’ve done for 3 years (but they haven’t seen me since I was 158 lbs heavier last year), I’m bound to see family and I genuinely can’t wait to see friends. Yes, I want to reconnect with people but, you know, it would just be great if they could skate over the whole weight loss thing. But the reality is that I’m just pounds away from losing half my original body weight in 15 months and perhaps they think that I’d love a compliment! No!!!!! Please just ask how I am. Please just ask what I’ve been up to. Please just give me the choice about whether I even mention the whole body shape / weight thing… which I’m very unlikely to! But being able to blog about all of this and talking to my therapist (whom I’ve never met in the flesh since the world went remote last spring) over the next few weeks will be an enormous help. Just articulating how it leaves me feeling and processing that.

I’ll be back on Friday (I’ll try not to forget this week!) about where I am with my eating disorder. My therapist told me on Monday that there is a plan to offer me some additional support with another professional which will run alongside the work I’m doing with him. I have to say that even over the past few days, my calorie ‘limit’ has gone down further…. I won’t go into details right now and in fact I’m waiting to hear a bit more myself about this potential support but I’ll give you an honest update on Friday about where things are at.

Right, off shortly to watch the first semi-final of Eurovision 2021!

Take care all

Erika xx

7 thoughts on “Coming out of lockdown… coming out to comments about weight loss – HELP!

  1. I would hope most people are coming from a place of admiration, appreciation for your efforts, respect, etc.. not criticism or ‘offensive attacking mode’, in other words…

    Of course, I’m not naive enough to think ALL are.

    I only have a beard because I don’t shave during the week, it’s not a style choice, it’s laziness And I had shaved the morning this happened:

    A friend asked me “Did you shave your beard? Mustache?” His wife came up as he said “You look different” She said, “No, he’s lost weight, silly”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Matt. Sounds like your weight loss is very visible (well done) although I know people sometimes just see that ‘something’ is different. How did feel when his wife pointed out the weight loss?

      Yes, I’m lucky to know truly fabulous people in the real world so I know it’ll all come from a good place. Some longer term friends may question how I’ve done it knowing I was poorly 10 years ago and I get that. I’m sure they’d much to prefer to hear (if I was open) that it’s all been done super healthily throughout so I get why they in particular could ask and I know I would care about someone with an ED background – just to know how they are

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think your friends who know what you’ve been through also come from a place of concern for your health. Without trying to sound too judgy or preachy, it’s possible your pre-cringe at the question comes from knowing your method could use some improvement. 😀

        I thought it was funny what she said, actually. I see my mug every day, so even though I see the changes in my physique, it’s gradual for me. I only see them every week or so, so I’m sure the changes are more apparent. I don’t “feel” much when people say things about me. I say I leave my Feeling in my other jeans so it doesn’t get hurt.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The jeans reference made me smile! I’ve got that visual now…

        Method use some improvement? Don’t know what you could be referring to 🤔😂 But more about that on Friday…

        Liked by 1 person

      3. A friend of mine when we were coworkers once asked “Do you ever wear those jeans? Or when you do, you put the Feeling in a different pair?”
        I put it in another pair… 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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