Panicked… paused… and then faced a fear!

Hello guys

Let’s just say that my shoes are still on because I wanted to quickly come on here and tell you that I’ve smashed a HUGE fear! Whilst I’m confident in nearly every situation and I’ve got no problem whatsoever talking to anyone far from home, I have some elements of social anxiety in my own village and it’s been 6 years since I’ve even stepped into my village shop. What’s behind this? I think probably the weight loss from 10 years ago and then putting it all back on and more. I would hide away from anywhere I might bump into someone I know. Shame, I guess.

But hubby is cooking dinner for him and the adult kids…. and realised we’re out of a key ingredient. I panicked, thinking “I should offer to go to the shop. But he needs it urgently and I can’t resort to my usual strategy of heading to the nearest town. I’ll have to face the village shop. What if. What if. What if“. Then I paused with the offer to help on the tip of my tongue, not sure if I was strong enough to face my fear and then, next thing I knew, I was getting into the car to race to the shop (walking would have taken too long). Yes, wearing a mask helped me to feel safe and I even walked past a restaurant with outdoor seating where people were gathering on this sunny Friday evening but I went into the shop and survived! I did it! In fact, I had the song ‘Face your Fears‘ playing in my head from the TV show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend ( I simply LOVE that show) and I could hear Paula’s voice (played by Donna Lynne Chaplin). Gosh, the adrenalin is kinda still there but I did it. And I need to do it again before the anxiety creeps in again so, by this time next week, I will have gone back into the shop.

Have a lovely weekend everyone and I’ll be back on Monday

Love Erika xx

6 thoughts on “Panicked… paused… and then faced a fear!

      1. You know, Erika, if you start thinking about making trips like this a regular thing and start overcoming this fear of yours… you might find you’ve built up some courage to take on some of the other fears you have too.
        Don’t forget to be awesome.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Facing our fears is such a strong feeling. Even though it may suck doing it, but we always come out of it feeling energised and able to do it again! The downside is that we have to keep challenging ourselves this way, or else the fears return. Anyway, thanks for your inspiring story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Stuart. Thank you so much for commenting. Yes, whilst the after feeling is great, it’s dawning on me that I need to get myself back into the shop in a regular basis until I end up doing so without any thought whatsoever… when it just becomes so automatic that I don’t even think about venturing out of the village just to get some milk. I love a ‘to-do’ list and ‘visit the shop’ is going on there for the next however many weeks so that I build upon today, Erika 😊

      Like

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