What does the figure on the scale mean to you?

Hey folks

I was watching a hospital-based documentary last night when an elderly woman was talking about how her daughter ‘ballooned’ to 18 stone……and it was like a wave shame came over me because 18 stone (which is how weight is often talked about in the UK) is equivalent to 252 lbs. At my last weigh-in on Monday, my weight was 256 lbs……so I felt like a rather sad balloon. But then it struck me how we can think about weight very differently.

So, I just wanted to brainstorm the different ways that my current weight (256 lbs) could be thought of (with my view in bold):

  • Wow. I hope I’m never THAT big
  • Someone who’s 256 lbs clearly has no discipline and probably isn’t very reliable
  • I hope someone who’s 256 lbs is okay. I wonder if s/he eats to bring comfort
  • I remember when I was 256 lbs. I can’t believe that I’m now this lesser weight. That took hard work
  • When I was 256 lbs, I didn’t think about what I was eating and I felt free but I now find myself continuously thinking about food and rather obsessed about not gaining it back.
  • I’m 256 lbs and I hate where I am. I’m ashamed. I’m going to be here forever
  • I’m 256 lbs but it’s because nobody supports me. It’s other people’s fault
  • I’m 256 lbs but I don’t even think about my weight. I’m just ‘me’
  • I’m 256 lbs and I love my curvy body
  • I’m 256 lbs and I’m so proud of how I’ve got here
  • I’m 256 lbs but just passing by as my weight journey is continuing downwards
  • I’m 256 lbs. This is my starting point and I’ve a long way to go but I’ve got this
  • Wow! 256 lbs is my goal weight! I can’t imagine ever being that small. I’d be positively skinny!
  • I don’t think I’ll ever get down to 256 lbs. I’m stuck here at this weight

No doubt, there’s a whole myriad of other perspectives but I think this goes to show that our perception of the figure on the scales can vary hugely and it’s all about mental attitude…and where we are ourselves. I’ll admit that I wish my weight loss journey hadn’t started at such a high point because I’d be much further along by now but I’ve already gone through the 320s, 310s, 300s, 290s, 280s, 270s, 260s and I’ll be under 250 before I know it.

I’ll be back on Monday. Not sure if I’m going to lose weight this week but my body is changing right SO MUCH now! My back fat is disappearing, my legs are getting more toned, I’m moving quicker/more easily and clothes are getting loose….I’m loving it!

Have a great weekend

Love Erika xx

Week 14 weigh-in: August is fitness month!

Hey folks

How are you? Hope you’ve had a good week.

Before I tell you about this week’s weight loss and why this month is all about fitness, I need to confess that I’d forgotten to publish a post last week about my emotionally-painful weight-related experiences. I found it sitting in my draft folder (perhaps my subconscious mind was telling me not to share that post with you!) but I will publish that on Wednesday.

And the scales say…

Back to today and I’ve lost another 2 lbs! I’m really pleased as my BMI is now in the 38s and I can feel such a difference in my body. I’m working out a lot so I may well also be building muscle and my energy levels are through the roof! Do you know that yesterday, I walked uphill for almost 7K. There’s a walk near here through the English countryside that is very popular with walkers, cyclists and horse riders but I’ve never had the stamina to do it but I accomplished that in the afternoon. My Fitbit showed me that I really pushed myself and the vast majority of the time was spent in cardio plus 15 minutes in peak when my heartrate hit 149 beats per minute! I actually came over dizzy and nauseous afterwards as I’d pushed myself so much but, whilst I didn’t feel great, I was buzzing!

What’s happening this month, Erika?

Well, in the pursuit of another medal with Virtual Racing UK, I’m doing a challenge where I’m emailed a fitness challenge each day. We get the choice of doing high or low intensity. Saturday was funny because one of the things I had to do as part of the low intensity option was 20 jumping jacks. It’s been many years since I’ve jumped at all and I could almost feel parts of my body remain in the air as the rest of it landed….it wasn’t pretty!! Saturday was 20 jumping jacks, 20 mountain climbers and 20 squats. Yesterday was a walk, run or cycle (I chose the high intensity option which was to cover 3 miles) and today I’ll go back to the low intensity options of 20 star jumps, 20 high knees and 20 jumping twists. The way I’m doing these tasks probably isn’t textbook but I’m giving it a real go. The way I see it is the more I try these new exercises, the more I’m ready to try out an actual boot camp.

And finally

I’d love to hear whether you work out. What can you do that you never thought you would? What’s the exercise or fitness program that leaves you buzzing afterwards knowing that you’ve really pushed yourself? If you don’t currently work out, what would you love to achieve one day? For me, it’s a half marathon……mmm, one day?!

Love Erika xx

Total recordable weight loss:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
52 lbs98 lbs:256 lbs38.9
Plus 21lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 13 weigh-in: 100 lbs to go!

Hey folks

Yes, having lost a whopping 5 lbs this week, I now have exactly 100 lbs to go until I hit my target weight and that feels pretty good as my ‘weight still to lose’ is almost in double-digits. For me, losing weight is all about mind games I guess and just finding all these milestones along the way.

Fitbit obsession?

I’ve now been wearing a Fitbit for a few days. They’re pretty good, aren’t they?! It’s great that it tells me whether I’m working out hard enough to be in the ‘fat burn’ or ‘cardio’ zones which may have contributed to losing more weight this week but, being very open with you, it’s hard to not get a little bit obsessed with all the figures it tells me. Have I taken enough steps? Have I walked 8k? Have I burned 2,800 calories each day? Have I walked up a flight of stairs 10 times? Was my sleep ‘good enough’?! STOP!!!! I’ve amended some of these targets which were pre-set because, Erika, I need to be kind to myself!

In the obesity class II zone

After sharing with you the other day that I’m no longer morbidly obese (yay!!), it’s brilliant to see on the MY Weight app that I’ve gone down to the zone beneath (i.e. BMI between 35-39.99). That top pink zone for 40+ BMI is pretty big and I wondered if I’d ever get out of it but I’ve now got 4.3 BMI points (or 29 lbs) to go until I move into the next one. Not every week is going to yield big loses and I’ve been lucky so far that my weight hasn’t completely stalled so far but if I keep doing what I’m doing, I will get back into those skinny jeans eventually. Actually, I couldn’t help myself last night but I tried them on. Well, I couldn’t get them above my knees and some of the material wouldn’t go above my large calves. But I took a photo nonetheless which I’ll share with you once I can also share a photo of myself wearing them!

The other thing I’m noticing is that, for quite some time, I was beyond the weight limit to do many things but I’m now heading towards several goals of being ‘light enough’. So, I’m 6 lbs off being able to go in a hot air balloon and 13 lbs off going on a Segway. Once we’re out of the COVID pandemic, I’ll be out there trying all these new things. I’m even considering joining a weekly boot camp. I never thought I’d hear myself say that! But I want to be able to kneel down without being in pain first. If you’re new to my blog, feel free to check out the pages showing all the things I’d like to do as I get smaller and lighter.

And this week…

So, I’m going to blog a couple more times this week. Wednesday, I’ll share with you some of those difficult experiences where my weight caused huge problems …and then, on Friday, I’ll tell you all about completing Couch to 5K which I’m still buzzing about!

Have a great week everyone and I’ll be back here in a couple of days

Love Erika

Recordable weight loss:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
50 lbs100 lbs258 lbs39.2
Plus 21lbs lost prior to blogging

Quick catch-up on my weight loss journey so far

Thank you so much for the likes and comments on my post the other day when I shared with you that my BMI had gone down from 50 to 39. It really meant a lot ❤

I’d found over the past 4-5 weeks that I was so desperate to get out of that ‘morbid’ category. Here in the UK, people can be considered for free bariatric surgery under the National Health Service (NHS) if their BMI is 40 or more and they’ve been unsuccessful with dietary advice, etc. It’s possible to have this surgery at a lower BMI if there are also health problems going on like diabetes. But I now no longer qualify. It feels SO good to say that!

I’m still a long way off my eventual goal but let’s look at what I’ve achieved so far because recognising these achievements along the way can be wonderfully motivating:

  • my BMI has gone from 50 to 39
  • I’ve lost 67 lbs (or 4 stone 11) in total
  • I’ve lost 4.6% of body fat
  • I’ve lost 6 inches from my belly, 4 inches from my chest, 5 inches from my waist, 7 inches from my hips and so much more.
  • I’m wearing smaller clothes
  • I’ve completed Couch to 5K (more about that next week!)
  • I can now put my feet together when I stand up
  • I can sit in my garden chair with room to spare
  • I’m now light enough to do Go Ape and go on the longest zip wire in the UK
  • I can fit in a dress I last wore 2 years ago
  • My confidence is rocking

The other thing I noticed is that the scales picture I use for my weekly weigh-ins goes up to 23.5 stone (329 lbs) and this was my actual start weight. And my hips and belly at the beginning of this journey were almost 60 inches each – the length of my tape measure. There’s almost a sense of ‘phew’ that I took charge of my size and weight before they increased even more. But you know, the hardest part for me is getting started and the reality is that whilst I’m now ticking off all these milestones, there were MANY mortifyingly embarrassing things that happened to me that still didn’t kickstart my weight loss journey. Whilst I think they’re going to be hard to write about, I guess I need to acknowledge them because I want my newfound attitude to food and exercise to be long term…..but more about that soon. Today, I choose to think only positively!

So, I’ll blog next on Monday with my weigh-in but have a great weekend

Love Erika xx

I did it! I’m no longer morbidly obese!!!!!!!

Guys, I’ve done it! With my BMI starting out at 50 in mid-February and almost at 47 when I started to blog, it’s now under 40…..39.8 to be precise. Well, let’s just say that I’m absolutely buzzing with my next major milestone to get my BMI under 35.

I really wanted to reward myself with something so I’ve treated myself to a Fitbit. I didn’t realise that there are so many to choose from. I wanted to find something that would help me track my movement, etc. but not give me so much information on the home screen that, I don’t know, could lead me to feeling a bit obsessed by all the figures about my bodily functions? I hope that makes sense.

So, towards the end of the week, I’ll write a quick catch up about my progress so far but I just wanted to get this news out there today! And also to thank you for YOUR support! Honestly, when I get a like or comment, it just makes me smile 🙂

Hope you’re having a good day

Love Erika xx

Week 12 weigh-in: the dress fits!

Hey folks

Gosh, I’ve got things to tell you! My eventual goal of being in the ‘normal’ weight range is months and months off (if not a year) but I’m loving hitting goals along the way.

The dress!!

One of my goals has been to fit into a dress I wore on a cruise two years ago. Now, I was really perplexed because I feel like the dress should have fitted by now as I can tell I’m lighter. When trying it on time to time over the last few weeks, there’s been plenty of room around the waist but my pesky chest has been in the way! It must have changed shape since my holiday! Anyway, lo and behold, I tried it on again yesterday and I can now do up the zip on the side without any problems. So ta dah! I’m off on a cruise next year around Russia, Estonia and Scandinavia (COVID permitting) but hopefully I’ll be in a new dress that’s much smaller.

My BMI?

I’m so tantalising close!!! After not losing any weight from Monday to Friday, I’ve lost 2lbs this weekend and this means that my BMI is now exactly 40! I think I already knew the answer but I did check whether you have to be under 40 to no longer be morbidly obese and, yes, I need to lose another 1/4 lb to get to that first massive goal. But I’ll be straight on here when I see the magic figure of 262 lbs show up on the scales!

Anything else Erika?

Yes! More progress towards another goal which is to be able to kneel down comfortably. You see, for years, I’ve ended up with excruciating pain in my lower legs and therefore I’ve avoided sitting or kneeling on the ground. Just underneath each knee is almost like a spare tyre of fat and even touching it is super sensitive. Well, these tyres are getting smaller and the pain is nothing like before so it won’t be long until I can kneel down and, once I can do that, I can do all sorts of things like be able to get out of the bath, be able to paint the skirting boards in my hallway and just feel like sitting on the ground is an option.

And finally…..

I’ve added a new page to my blog with all my mini goals like losing half a pound, losing body fat, etc. Feel free to check it out here

So, I could be back on here tomorrow, Wednesday or whenever that 262 pops up on the scales but it’s coming. And once I hit the goal, I’ll let you know and review my progress to date because whilst our eventual goals may be a long way off, it can be wonderfully uplifting to see how far we’ve come!

Take care

Love Erika xx

Total recordable weight loss:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
45 lbs105 lbs263 lbs40.0
Plus 21lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 11 weigh-in: lots of goals can help

Hey

If you’re on a weight loss journey, you may have that figure that you’re desperate to see on the scales. You know, your goal weight. However far away it may be, it’s almost like everything hinges on seeing that celebratory figure.

The joy of ticking off a mini goal!

With more than 100 pounds still to lose, I wondered if it might be helpful to share with you what I’m doing. You see, I find that lots of mini goals along the way are really motivating because there are so many tiny achievements to be had: every 5lbs lost, every half a pound of fat lost, every half a BMI point, every next stone/half stone mark (what are stones?), every non-scale victory achieved, etc. So, on the notes section on my phone, I’ve written all these lists and I then take great pleasure adding a tick when I achieve another mini goal. In fact, it’s rare that I don’t get to add at least one tick for each pound lost.

So, today, after losing 2lbs this week, it means that I can tick off the 265lbs goal and the one to show I’m finally under 19 stone. Look at how I’m just 1lb away from being able to do the longest zipwire in the UK. That said, I weigh myself naked and I guess I need to factor in the weight of clothes. There’s no doubt a rule about not doing zipwire in the buff!! I’m also 3lbs away from no longer being morbidly obese.

New additions to the ‘When I lose weight, I will…..’ page

I’ve thought of two more things I’d like to do when I’m light enough. One is to abseil! I’ve never done that even though I don’t have an issue with heights so that might become a charity fundraiser.

The other thing is that, to my absolute joy, I discovered the other day I’m actually light enough to do Go Ape. I don’t know whether any of you outside the UK have something similar but Go Ape is basically like an assault course but high up in the trees, with rope bridges, floating planks of wood to carefully get over, etc. whilst wearing helmets and safety harnesses. There are several around the UK. I want to wait until I have the confidence to wear trousers and not worry about whether the safety harness will fit but I thought this would be a fab thing to do.

I’d love to hear if you’ve also set yourself mini goals or if there’re things you’d like to do when you’re smaller/lighter.

Hope you have a lovely week and I’ll be back in a few days’ time with more of my ramblings!

Love Erika xx

Week 10 weigh-in: 5lbs lost this week!

Yes, really!

I usually tell you the magic weight loss number some way into my posts but I just had to put it in today’s title! I’m SO pleased! I wouldn’t say that I’ve made any real changes to what I’m eating this week but I suspect it’s to do with ‘Couch to 5K’. Do you know what I did last night? I ran for 20 minutes. Yes, I ran! I was incredibly emotional afterwards as I was just shocked that someone just into the morbidly obese range could achieve such a feat. This weight loss means that I’m now 5lbs away from no longer being morbidly obese which I’d hoped to achieve by the end of July but I suspect it will be in the next 1-2 weeks. Trust me. When it happens, I’ll be straight on here announcing it but I think I can start to think of what I’m going to treat myself to with my first major milestone in sight.

How do you track your weight?

I wanted to mention how I’m tracking my weight loss. There are lots of apps out there, many of which allow you to track exactly what you’re eating, what you’re drinking, how much sleep you’re getting, etc. I didn’t want to put in my food intake as I was confident that I’d be sticking to healthy food and I guess I didn’t want to become fixated on documenting everything…..although, for some people, that’d be really helpful. I’m using the MY Weight app which is purely for putting in the results of each weigh-in. So I’ve taken a couple of screenshots.

Now, the first thing to say (which I’ve mentioned a couple of times on here before) is that I set it up from my likely weight back in February as I’d already lost some weight before starting to blog. This means that I’m actually planning to lose 171lbs in all (but 150lbs from from my first blog post). Back in February, my BMI was around 50.

And this is today’s screenshot…..

Can you see how close I am to getting my BMI under 40?!!! Also, the percentage of fat loss is big and it’s showing me that I’m losing just over 3lbs each week. The reference to calories is what I should be eating to lose 1lb a week based on being moderately active.

The other thing I like about the app is that the graph has a green line which shows me how my weight loss should look if I’m losing 1lb a week and the red line is my current trajectory……so I’m well ahead! But even sticking to the green line would be a result and very much headed towards the long term goal.

Next time?

Later this week, I’d thought I’d talk about scales in terms of how often ‘should’ we weigh ourselves? I’ll give you a spoiler that my answer is whatever suits YOU! However, I’ll discuss the pros and cons of doing it different ways

Have a good week everyone

Love Erika xx

Eating to lose weight

HOW much are you eating, Erika?

So, my weight is coming off, I’m on course to lose quite a few pounds this week and I thought I’d share with you what I’m eating. I’d like to tell you that I’m eating copious amounts of fruit, veg, fish and lean meat but I’m not. You see, the biggest change I’ve made it about quantity. It can be very easy to guess how many calories we’re taking in but the results can be quite shocking.

Take this cereal for instance. When I see the box, I think it oozes wholesomeness and it must be super healthy Beforehand, I’d eat a huge bowl food (but dry! Yes, I don’t like milk). However, when I looked up the calories and weighed MY typical portion, I was horrified! What I now do is actually have this as a treat if I’m peckish in the afternoons (which is about every 3 weeks). I use a tiny white bowl to make it feel like I’m eating more and just pour in enough to cover its base…..resulting in a 88 calorie snack. Far better than the 750 I was consuming before!

One tip to start being aware of what you’re eating is to photo everything. Yes, photograph everything that goes in your mouth because reflecting on it at the end of the day can help you see where changes can be made.

I keep to around 1,200 calories a day because the key thing is to go into calorie deficit. The only way to lose weight is to take in fewer calories that you’re burning. Although I exercise and could theoretically treat myself whilst remaining in calorie deficit, I see that every workout means burning even more calories overall. But I have to put up my hands and admit that I don’t always get to 1,200 calories. Sometimes, I eat a lot less which is where I have to be careful not to slip back into anorexic behaviour. I’m working on this! 1,200 is my goal.

I love ready meals because they tell me how many calories I’m eating plus how much fat, etc.

This is one of my favourite ready meals right now as it’s under 400 calories. There’s no point eating healthily if it’s not tasty and I love food that smacks the taste buds and makes you feel full. The other thing I do is to eat food when it’s super hot. It takes me longer to eat and tricks my mind into thinking I’ve just had a huge meal.

And we had a takeaway tonight from our local Indian restaurant. I ordered half a portion of boiled rice and chicken tikka which comes without a heavy sauce but a yoghurt (which I poured half onto the chicken). So takeaways are allowed. It’s about making smart choices.

No sweet food

Some people can lose weight whilst merely cutting back on snacks like chocolate, biscuits and cakes. But I know myself well enough to know that this approach won’t work for me. I used to have a very sweet tooth and a packet of biscuits would soon disappear. But since cutting out all sweet food, I’m so much happier with savoury food and I can easily pass on biscuits when my family’s eating it. It’s a while until any family birthdays so let’s see if I can resist the temptation of cake then!

Intermittent fasting

When I started this journey, I made a concerted effort to eat breakfast despite never having really been a breakfast person. This was when I was eating the above cereal. However, I’ve restricted my eating hours from midday to 8pm. I can’t tell you how much this has helped me! You see, before I’d snack away all evening, often oblivious to what was going in my mouth. My pattern of eating is officially known as 16:8 intermittent fasting (IF) but there are different ways of doing such as having 2 very low calorie days a week. However, you still have to be in calorie deficit overall.

So, in a typical day, I’ll eat:

  • noon: lunch which is either a one-round sandwich on granary bread or an open sandwich (such as mackerel) on an open sandwich with one slice of bread.
  • afternoon: if I’m peckish, I’ll have the cereal treat, a cereal bar or piece of fruit
  • dinner around 6/7pm: usually meat with lots of veg. However, I may have other things like a personalised pizza with low fat cheese and topped with a bucket of rocket lettuce or mushrooms. I might have a ready meal. I might have a jacket potato with tuna and sweetcorn plus salad on the side.

And I don’t feel hungry. I’ve really upped how much water I’m drinking despite never being a water person. And the diet coke is now more of a treat…..I’m not getting rid of that completely!

At the end of the day, I think it’s about finding a way of eating that’s sustainable.

Anyway folks, I’ll be back on Monday with my next weigh-in. Before then, I’ll have run for 20 minutes non-stop as part of Couch to 5K and I’ve really got my fingers crossed that Monday’s going to be a huge result. I’m SO SO close to no longer being morbidly obese!

Love Erika xx

Week 9: an extra weigh-in as I can’t help myself!

Hey folks

When I shared the results of my weekly weigh-in on Monday and told you that I was just 10lbs away from no longer being morbidly obese, I suspected that I had some water retention (time of the month and all that!) Anyway, I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost another 3lbs since then which means:

  • I’m now under the 270 marks (as I’m 269)
  • I’m 7lbs from no longer being morbidly obese
  • My BMI is now under 41
  • I’m 5lbs from being able to do the longest zip wire in the UK (weight limit 264)
  • …..and so much more!

If you’re new to my blog, please do check out the ‘When I lose weight, I will…..’ page as it has all the things I want to do as I get smaller and lighter.

I’ve done 15 minutes running tonight (Couch to 5K week 3 run 1) and I’m just buzzing. I honestly couldn’t walk 200 metres back in February without being in pain.

And I just wanted to share a couple of items of clothing I’ve bought to slim into. They’re both UK size 14 (US size 10, I think?) but they’re 3/4 length trousers which I’ve never worn and a Superdry hoodie. I’ve a long way to go but I’m I’m visualising how I’m likely to feel wearing these and I’m sure I’ll reach my goal.

Anyway, Friday night, I’ll update you about the food I’m eating but have a great couple of days

Love Erika xx