Week 54 weigh-in: I’m back in my little red dress!!!!

Hey guys

AAGGHH!!!!!! I’m so amazed that I’ve got back into this dress but, before I show you, let’s take a look at this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 2 lbs
  • My weight’s now in the lower 170 lbs
  • My BMI is now in the lower 26s
  • I’ve acknowledged that I need help and I’ve reached out for support with my eating disorder. So, I’ve an online meeting later on today with a specialist.

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard…
  • Drink more water and less diet soda

Erika’s next target(s):

  • 2 lbs until my BMI is in the 25s!!!!!
  • 3 lbs until I can go horse riding at a nearby stables (although I can ride elsewhere)
  • 3 lbs until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 8 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (just over half a stone!)
  • 8 lbs until I’ve lost half of my original weight!
  • 15 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

I am BEYOND excited today! I bought a little red dress 25 years ago which I’ve worn in public once but I managed to try it on again 10 years ago when I lost a lot of weight. Clothes have come and gone in that time but this dress has remained in my wardrobe as the ‘When I can get back into this, I know I’ve done well‘ piece of clothing. I was sorting out my clothes earlier and thought I’d try it on…. guessing that the zip wouldn’t go all the way up but, yes, it did! This is such a non-scale victory!

I’ll be back on Wednesday but, as ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
135 lbs15 lbs173 lbs26.2
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

When the weight loss thing went wrong

Hey guys

Well, I say it ‘went wrong’ but I need to hold onto the hope that I can get back on track.

For anyone stumbling across my blog for the first time, hello 🙂 So, I’ve lost more than 150 lbs so far and, for the vast majority of the past year, I’ve brought a really healthy mind, focusing on just the next tiny goal . And that can be tricky to do with a history of anorexia and bulimia but, for the most part, I was doing okay.

I was recently diagnosed with atypical anorexia because I meet all the anorexia criteria except I’m not underweight and things have got a bit serious. So, as I mentioned on Monday, I thought I’d reflect on what happened. What was the point where my healthy attitude changed and I started getting obsessive about every calorie I was eating?

Back in December, I started to get some vague idea about restricting my calories and I was desperate not to go back to this mental place from 10 years ago when I ended up on no more than 250 calories a day. From February until December ’20, I had a very rough idea about how many calories I was eating but I didn’t want to count every single one. I was losing weight eating sensible portions and working out. But I think it’s the moment when I found myself drawn into a mindset of weighing and calculating absolutely everything. At that point, it became all about the calories and a desperation to see the figure on the scales change. And I guess this coincided with some pressures here at home. There’s some serious stuff that I can’t control but eating is something that I can…..well, you know.

Since then, I’ve just started feeling uncomfortable about what I’m eating, feeling as if I’m eating too much. As I mentioned on Friday’s post, the little I’m eating is starting to hugely impact my body and my doctor is very concerned. She’s mentioned about referring me to the eating disorder service although she needs my consent but I have spent the past couple of days looking into some private options too that could more easily fit around my life. Goodness, as a business owner, taking time out is hard and, yes, I know I have to prioritise my own health but doing it in reality is hard. Anyway, one place got back to me today and we’re currently scheduling a conversation to chat things through, such as what they offer, if they feel they can help me. Yes, I’m recognising that I do need help but giving up control feels scary.

If anyone’s losing weight and signs of eating disorders are creeping in, I’d really encourage you to seek help straightaway. In no time at all, we can end up in this place where we feel stuck and the earlier that help is sought, the easier it may be to unstick ourselves. To be honest, I wish all this stuff with the anorexia would just go away as I want to pretend it’s not happening. I think the next few weeks and months are going to be a rollercoaster but, as ever, I’ll be open with you and perhaps I can get back on track and enjoy all that life has to offer. ‘cos life is good! And, especially post-Covid, I want to be jetting off for weekends away!

Take care

Erika xx

Week 53 weigh-in: 10 lbs until my weight’s in the ‘healthy’ range

Hey guys

How was your weekend? On Saturday, I decided to head to a stunning town about 1.5 hours away that’s truly steeped in history, with timber-beam and stone buildings originating from the 12th and 13th centuries, and the most unusual houses and shops lining the cobblestone streets. Rye is just gorgeous and absolutely beautiful to walk around. Photography is very much something I love, trying to capture unusual shots, and my steps soon clocked up on my FitBit.

So, let’s crack on with this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 3 lbs
  • My weight’s now halfway through the 170 lbs
  • I’ve now lost 11 stone
  • I’ve lost 90% of my excess weight
  • I’m now lighter than when I lost a lot of weight 10 years ago, making me the lightest I’ve been for almost 25 years

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard…

Erika’s next target(s) along with the big ones!

  • 1 lb until my BMI is in the lower 26s
  • 1 lb until my weight’s in the lower 170s
  • 5 lbs until I can go horse riding at a nearby stables (although I can ride elsewhere)
  • 5 lbs until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 10 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range
  • 10 lbs until I’ve lost half of my original weight!
  • 17 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

As you’ll see from the tag line of my blog, my story is meant to be about a huge weight loss journey without falling into the traps of previous eating disorders and, for those who’ve read my blog over the past few weeks, you’ll know that I’m now very much struggling with atypical anorexia. So, I need to think about the direction of this blog in a way that helps me process my thoughts, especially over the next few weeks, whilst avoiding any promotion of unhealthy behaviour. So, on Wednesday, I’m going to reflect on the point of this journey where things started to get unhealthily obsessive…. in the hope that anyone reading this who’s also trying to toe that fine line between dieting and EDs can avoid going down this very murky route which I’m on.

I’ll be back on Wednesday but, as ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
133 lbs17 lbs175 lbs26.5
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Losing weight with popcorn!

Hey folks

I was going to call this post ‘Popcorn without the guilt‘ but actually no food is necessarily a bad food! It comes down to portion control and in fact I know there are people who will only crave food more if they feel they’re being deprived.

But yes, I thought I’d share my dinner with you. This is so low-cal with a portion of plain noodles, green beans, aubergine (eggplant), mushrooms and soy sauce. Cooked within 10 minutes and actually something that feels doable as a non-cook. Trust me, I don’t enjoy cooking although I’m starting to get very slowly adventurous. Hubby and I used to do lots of stir-fries but we just got out of the habit. Anyway, I’ve a stack of veg to use up so I’ll be doing a stir fry for the next few evenings.

And then popcorn for dessert! Actually, I’m not normally a fan of popcorn but I saw these were just 53 calories and they’re actually fairly tasty (can be bought from Sainsbury’s in the UK). But no wonder why they’re very low-cal. The bag is about a quarter full! But psychologically, I feel like I’ve had a bag of popcorn and I just took my time devouring each one. In truth, I could have downed the pack in one!!! Usually, if I have a dessert, I’m more likely to go for a 6 calorie sugar-free jelly but I had room in my calorie limit to check out these today.

I’ll be back either Friday or Saturday but, in the meantime, I’d love to know what are your go-to low-cal meals and snacks. Bonus points for anything that can be cooked in next to no time!

Love Erika xx

Week 52 weigh-in: One year of blogging!

Hey guys

Today’s blog comes from a rather bleary-eyed Erika who, based in the UK, stayed up until the early hours watching the Oscars! But, yes, I’ve now blogged for a whole year and I can’t thank you enough for joining me on my journey. Honestly, I truly appreciate it. I know things are getting a bit serious at the moment with the atypical anorexia and I’ll find out this week about how the eating disorder is affecting my body but, right now, let’s crack on with this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 2 lbs
  • My weight’s now in the 170 lbs!
  • My BMI is in the 26s

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard …

Erika’s next target(s) along with the big ones!

  • 2 lbs until I’m the same weight as 10 years ago
  • 3 lbs until I’ve lost 11 stone in all
  • 3 lbs until I’ve lost 90% of my excess weight
  • 4 lbs until my BMI is in the lower 26s
  • 8 lbs until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 13 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (under 1 stone to go!)
  • 20 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

A very close friend came round to my home at the weekend but, because of Covid, I hadn’t seen her for months. As she walked into my garden, her first words were “You’re so tiny!” Although I have lots of loose skin, the thing I found when I was this weight 10 years ago is that I get to the point where I’m heavier than I may look. 10 years ago, I had people telling me not to lose any more, despite me actually being overweight. So it makes me wonder how I’ll look when my BMI does get into the healthy range… but I’m not looking too far ahead. I’m just focusing on that next pound. That’s how I’ve got this far… one step, one pound at a time.

I’ll be back on Wednesday but, as ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
130 lbs20 lbs178 lbs26.9
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Being a ‘healthy’ weight is finally just around the corner!

Hi guys

You know, there’s a page on my blog that I sometimes forget to update as my weight loss journey continues. Yesterday, I realised that I needed to tick off a few more goals I’d achieved and, wow, the visuals illustrate how my BMI and other stats are getting so much nearer to the ‘healthy’ category… something I couldn’t have dreamt of. So, today’s blog is basically showing you what’s given me a lift today as I start on the homeward straight…..

– – – ❤ – – –

Ticking off every 5lbs of weight loss (starting at 329 lbs…goal is 158…. though 165 puts me in the healthy range)

329√325√320√315√
310√305√300√295√
290√285√280√275√
270√265√260√255√
250√245√240√235√
230√225√220√215√
210√205√200√195√
190√185√180√175
170165160158

Ticking off half BMI points (starting at a BMI of 50…goal is under 25)

50√49.5√49√48.5√
48√47.5√47√46.5√
46√45.5√45√44.5√
44√43.5√43√42.5√
42√41.5√41√40.5√
40√39.5√39√38.5√

38√37.5√37√36.5√
36√35.5√35√34.5√
34√33.5√33√32.5√
32√31.5√31√30.5√
30√29.5√29√28.5√
28√27.5√2726.5
2625.525<25

Getting under each (UK) stone/half stone (1 stone = 14 lbs) Started at 23 stone 7…goal is 11 stone 4 though 11 stone 11 puts me in the healthy range (I’m 5 foot 8)

23.5√23√22.5√22√
21.5√21√20.5√20√
19.5√19√18.5√18√
17.5√17√16.5√16√
15.5√15√14.5√14√
13.5√13 √ 12.512
11.5 11 4lbs

Weight classifications

No longer being super obese (BMI 50+)√
No longer being morbidly obese (BMI 40-49.9)√
No longer being in the upper obese range (BMI 35-39.9)√
No longer being obese (BMI 30-34.9)√
No longer being overweight (BMI 25-29.9) because I’m a HEALTHY WEIGHT! (BMI 19-24)

You see, my journey is all about focusing on the next tiny goal as I could have easily felt disillusioned at the beginning of this journey thinking that I’d never get to where I’m at.

I’ll be back on Monday with my weigh-in. To be honest, I’m dreading next week as I have my ECG and I heard a couple of days ago that my blood test has shown something that my doctor wants to talk about…. so a potentially challenging week next week but that’s not now! I’ve a weekend to enjoy first and I hope you enjoy your weekend too ❤

Love Erika xx

Mouth hunger or stomach hunger? This is key!

Hello guys

Just a short post today but I read something the other day and, wow, it resonated with me so much that I wanted to share it with you.

How many times do you eat something but then afterwards feel that it wasn’t enough or it wasn’t what you really needed?

You see, it’s very easy to think that when we experience hunger, our stomachs are calling out for something filling. We might have had dinner but it doesn’t feel enough so we follow it up with some biscuits, some candy, etc. … basically, more calories.

It may be that your stomach is fine but it’s your taste buds that need something to hit the spot. In Monday’s post, I mentioned that Ryvita Thins have just 29 calories each and I find that the chilli in these completely do the job. Happy taste buds, happy Erika who’s kept in control of what she’s eaten.

But, as I’ve said before, remember that dehydration has that sneaky way to disguise itself as hunger so, first step, drink water!

And before you go…. I’ve hit another milestone. Where I live, we’re advised that women’s waists should be 31.5″ or less. I think you can guess where I’m heading with this but, yes, my waist is 31.5″!!! Last summer, it was 48″ so anything is possible 🙂

Hope you have a great day, everyone

Love Erika xx

Week 51 weigh-in: the UK food traffic light system!

Hello guys

Okay, before I tell you all about this, let’s take a look at this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 3 lbs
  • I’ve now lost more than 10.5 stone in all
  • I’m now under 13 stone
  • My BMI’s in the lower half of the overweight category
  • I’ve bought more veg! Yes, on tomorrow’s menu are homemade aubergine (eggplant) crisps and I’ve bought spinach and red peppers to make omelettes.

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard and it’s now just 10 days until my ECG…

Erika’s next target(s) along with the big ones!

  • 1 lb until my weight’s in the 170s
  • 2 lbs until my BMI’s in the 26s
  • 4 lbs until I’m the same weight as 10 years ago
  • 5 lbs until I’ve lost 11 stone in all
  • 5 lbs until I’ve lost 90% of my excess weight
  • 10 lbs until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 15 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (just more than 1 stone to go!)
  • 22 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

So, back to the traffic light system Many food producers in the UK display nutritional information on products using a traffic light system so that we can see at a glance whether it’s healthy or not. I have to say that this makes food choice reasonably easy because I make a point of staying away from anything colour-coded red. Here’re some examples:

So, okay, the Ryvita one isn’t colourful but I can instantly see if these flatbreads are okay to snack on and yes they are! These are unbelievably tasty and just 29 calories. And this jambalaya is something I could live on everyday! Virtually green across the board and just 319 calories. Do you have anything similar in your country to help people make healthy choices? Please do tell!

I’ll be back on Wednesday to talk about mouth hunger versus stomach hunger but, in the meantime, hope you have a good couple of days. As ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
128 lbs22 lbs180 lbs27.2
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging



Feel bigger or smaller than you really are?

Hey folks

Gosh, I’m finding that almost regardless of my size, I don’t really sense the dimensions of my body and I’d love to know if anyone else ‘gets’ this.

So, at 329 lbs, I obviously knew that I had a body but I couldn’t connect with it. I think my mind was telling me that I was smaller than I really was and I’d then be surprised when I couldn’t easily fit into a chair or when a piece of clothing seemed really tight. I’d see people on TV or social media who were apparently my size or had the same BMI and I’d be thinking “Am I the same size as them?” Ultimately, it was like my mind was disconnected from my body….

Currently at 180 lbs (which is a mid-week weigh-in spoiler alert!), I feel bigger than perhaps some evidence would suggest:

  • I’ve gone from US size 18-20 (UK size 22-24) to US size 8-10 (UK size 12-14)
  • I’m currently binge watching the very first season of The Biggest Loser Australia on Amazon Prime and I was really shocked to see the contestants initially weigh in heavier than my current weight…. I could have sworn that I was larger than at least 3 of the ladies. The show doesn’t reveal the contestants’ BMI or height but, at 5 foot 8, I’m pretty tall so I doubt if they were all taller than me
  • I know that my wrists have got smaller because when I got my FitBit last summer, I had to wear the larger strap whereas I’m now wearing the smaller strap on the 4th smallest out of the 11 holes
  • … and I know my waist is smaller as it was 48 inches a few months into this journey… now it’s 32.5 inches

I do celebrate the scale and non-scale victories but perhaps it’ll just take time for me to really recognise my body for what it is. Work in progress, eh?!

This weekend, I’m going to head out for walks as it’s warming up here a bit and I’ll probably pace around my living room when I watch this weekend’s Romagna Grand Prix. It’s incredible how steps can build up when distracted! And then I’ll be back on Monday with my next weigh-in when I’ll be declaring some very exciting goals coming up. Hope you have a great weekend

Take care all

Love Erika xx

THIS shows me how far I’ve come!

Hello guys

Sometimes, I find it hard to think back to where I started off 14 months ago except that I weighed 329 lbs. However, yesterday, I was flicking through my Filofax where I found something I’d written. It’s not dated but I seem to recall it being reasonably close to the beginning because, weeks later, we were in lockdown and therefore I certainly wasn’t meeting friends for lunch! Anyway, this is what it says…

I now feel more comfortable when I’m asleep

I don’t feel the fat around my neck so much

I got behind the restaurant table when I met up with Claire

I walked to the post box there and back without stopping

I don’t get out of my breath when I walk upstairs

The sofa no longer squeaks when I sit down

#small things #tiny goals #Illgetthere

This is precious! This illustrates how far I’ve come on this journey. Little things, eh?! Yes, it’s good to look ahead to our goals but goodness it’s great to glance in that rear view mirror to see where we’ve come from and smile!

Love Erika xx