You know, I saw a family member recently. She’s always openly said how she is the slimmest of us and once said to me, whilst I was fighting anorexia, that she thought I’d never be smaller than her. Mmm….we can choose our friends but not our family! Anyway, I last saw her at Christmas when I was at my heaviest (around 329 lbs) and then saw her a couple of weeks ago. In that time, I’ve lost 98lbs which, as you can probably imagine, is completely noticeable. She looked me up and down, uttered “mmmm” under her breath and didn’t say a word. In my head, I was thinking “Really, not going to say anything?” But that was a huge learning curve.
Hopefully, we’ll have people in our lives who are genuinely pleased for us that we’re working towards our goals. I’ve only seen a couple of people except family since the beginning of lockdown and they’ve been amazing. I think it’s human nature to like a ‘congrats’. But we can all have people who aren’t pleased or will be focusing on themselves. And it got me thinking about the relative…do I really need her recognition? Do I need her adulation? At the end of the day, I HAVE to do it for me! For my future. My body. My happiness. My health.
And I need to like myself enough so that I can recognise my own achievements and be satisfied with that alone. With 8″ lost from my waist, 12″ lost from my hips and 11″ from my thighs, I know that each mini goal along the way is something to be proud of what I’ve done so far. I’m 1.25 lbs away from hitting 100lbs loss and, at the end of the day, there’s no point only wanting approval from others if we can’t give that to ourselves. Oh, trust me. Until a few years ago, I would have only craved other people’s approval but perhaps I can start to like me. Does that make sense? I hope so!
So, next weigh-in on Monday. Will I hit that 100lb mark? Oh, I hope so! Before then though, I’m taking part in the London Vitality 10K this weekend… 🙂
Hope you have a lovely weekend
Love Erika xx