Gosh, I’m finding that almost regardless of my size, I don’t really sense the dimensions of my body and I’d love to know if anyone else ‘gets’ this.
So, at 329 lbs, I obviously knew that I had a body but I couldn’t connect with it. I think my mind was telling me that I was smaller than I really was and I’d then be surprised when I couldn’t easily fit into a chair or when a piece of clothing seemed really tight. I’d see people on TV or social media who were apparently my size or had the same BMI and I’d be thinking “Am I the same size as them?” Ultimately, it was like my mind was disconnected from my body….
Currently at 180 lbs (which is a mid-week weigh-in spoiler alert!), I feel bigger than perhaps some evidence would suggest:
- I’ve gone from US size 18-20 (UK size 22-24) to US size 8-10 (UK size 12-14)
- I’m currently binge watching the very first season of The Biggest Loser Australia on Amazon Prime and I was really shocked to see the contestants initially weigh in heavier than my current weight…. I could have sworn that I was larger than at least 3 of the ladies. The show doesn’t reveal the contestants’ BMI or height but, at 5 foot 8, I’m pretty tall so I doubt if they were all taller than me
- I know that my wrists have got smaller because when I got my FitBit last summer, I had to wear the larger strap whereas I’m now wearing the smaller strap on the 4th smallest out of the 11 holes
- … and I know my waist is smaller as it was 48 inches a few months into this journey… now it’s 32.5 inches
I do celebrate the scale and non-scale victories but perhaps it’ll just take time for me to really recognise my body for what it is. Work in progress, eh?!
This weekend, I’m going to head out for walks as it’s warming up here a bit and I’ll probably pace around my living room when I watch this weekend’s Romagna Grand Prix. It’s incredible how steps can build up when distracted! And then I’ll be back on Monday with my next weigh-in when I’ll be declaring some very exciting goals coming up. Hope you have a great weekend
Take care all
Love Erika xx