I could fit in the seats at the funfair!

Hi everyone

So, apologies that it’s been nearly a week since I’ve blogged. I just needed to give myself a break from the weekly weigh-in but I wanted to share with you that I let my inner child play last night. I went to a funfair on Brighton Pier which is on the south coast of England jutting out into the English Channel towards France. Brighton is a very popular and wonderfully vibrant city where people can truly be individuals and it’s a city that’s just a short train ride from London. In fact, it’s where I got engaged!

Yesterday, on a gloriously warm evening, I headed down to Brighton. I didn’t plan to go on any funfair rides and I assumed that the pier itself would be closed but, as I drove past, I found it was very much open, much later than usual as many people were soaking up the sun. I have to say that I hesitated for a moment when I reached the end of the pier wondering how daft it’d be for a 40-something year old going on rides but sometimes you just have to not worry what others will think and play. Before I knew it, I was going down the helter skelter on a coil mat, sitting on a horse on the carousel, being strapped into a rollercoaster and then being tossed about on another ride that made me very glad I hadn’t just eaten! But the best feeling was that I could fit into the seats! My head hasn’t caught up with the fact that I’ve lost 164 lbs so far but once I managed to fit on the first ride, that worry soon disappeared.

So, I’ll be back on Monday with a bit of an update with the professional support regarding atypical anorexia as I’ve finally found somewhere there’s been brilliant so far but more about that in a few days.

Hope you have a great weekend, everyone

Love Erika xx

A non-scale victory! I didn’t search for the nearest car park space!

Hey folks

I don’t know about you but I’ve been staying away from the shops since the pandemic began. We’ve been able to get home delivery really easily and I’ve just wanted to stay safely away from others as much as possible.

Well, sensing that I’ve become a bit of a recluse, I’ve started to venture into some shops over the past couple of weeks but late into the evenings. Last night, I drove down to the coast because being anywhere with water (whether it’s the English Channel, a lake or even a duck pond!) does me the world of good mentally. I popped into a clothes shop (and was really excited to be buying US size 8 / UK size 12 clothes) but I then popped into a supermarket. This particular supermarket is one that I haven’t visited since I was 162 lbs heavier and I remember desperately trying to get the nearest space to the front of the shop… and needing to keep pausing to catch my breath. But I found myself last night deliberately parking slightly further away and purposefully walking towards the store with a huge spring in my step and not the slightest bit puffed out. THAT is progress! And it’s when we can compare the old and new that we get to see how far we’ve come.

Have a great weekend everyone. I was hoping that my weight may finally be in the ‘healthy’ range but the scales haven’t budged now for 7 days but let’s see if anything happens before Monday. 2 lbs, yes 2 lbs, will get me to that goal but I’ll celebrate whether it happens this week or next. I just need to think of a reward to treat myself to!

Take care

Erika xx

Week 56 weigh-in: lost almost half my body weight!

Hey guys

Well, I’ve TWO very exciting things to tell you this week. First, I’ve smashed several goals so let’s take a look at this week’s report card straightaway:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 4 lbs
  • My weight’s now in the 160s
  • I’ve lost more than 11.5 stone in all
  • I’m now in the 11 stone range
  • My BMI is now in the lower 25s!
  • I drank far more water than normal
  • I can now go horse riding at a nearby stables
  • I’m lighter than my wedding weight from 25 years ago

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard but more about that below

Erika’s next target(s):

  • 2 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range! Yes, 2 lbs to go!
  • 3 lbs until I’ve lost over half of my original weight! Slightly revised from last week but nonetheless tantilisingly close.
  • 9 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range

— ❤ —

The other thing is that I now have two pieces of clothing with a ‘SMALL’ tag AND I can wear them! The other one is a belt as I ran out of holes in the medium size one.

I also wanted to think aloud here about recovering from an eating disorder. Things took a bit of a turn last week when my therapist (very much with my best interests at heart) took the decision to contact my GP surgery about me being at physical risk. I know this comes from a place of care and safety as he cited safeguarding but it’s hard not to find the whole thing very surreal with matters are being taken out of my hands. So, I guess there’ll be a phone call, etc. at some point about that. Independent of this, I may have found some private specialist support that could make a difference that would work around my current life and hopefully I’ll soon know more to share with you. If this private support is put in place, I don’t know whether professionals within the NHS would still need/want to be involved… I guess it could depend if they think I’m at risk. But this is where I’m sharing some initial, extraordinarily tentative thoughts with you. As you’ll know from my weekly weigh-ins over the past 15 months, I’m always focusing on the next targets in terms of losing X lbs or getting into the next 1/2 BMI range. I’m terrified at the prospect of relinquishing control and increasing the calories but perhaps I need to start adding weekly challenges to my report card such as adding a further 50 calories each day. I’ve really mixed feelings about this which no doubt sounds ludicrous when I do want to get back to socialising with friends over meals and I do want my next ECG on Friday to be healthy. I might explore the concept of being ready to recover (or perhaps just having to get on with it even if I’m not ready) later this week in my blog.

As ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
141 lbs9 lbs167 lbs25.2
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 55 weigh-in: I fell over…but I got up again!

Hey guys

More about the blog title in just a moment but let’s start with this week’s report card…

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 2 lbs
  • My BMI is now in the 25s!
  • I drank far more water than normal

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard…

Erika’s next target(s):

  • 1 lb until I can go horse riding at a nearby stables (although I can ride elsewhere)
  • 1 lb until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 2 lbs until my weight’s in the 160s
  • 6 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (that’s less than half a stone!). I do wonder how much my excess skin weighs though because it’s possible that this could account for the remaining 6 lbs but let’s not go there!
  • 6 lbs until I’ve lost half of my original weight!
  • 13 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range

So, back to my blog title which isn’t about falling off the diet wagon and getting back on track! About 3 years ago, I had a really bad fall when I did a lot of tissue damage throughout my left leg and ended up on crutches for 6 weeks. In fact, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t broken a bone as the pain was so immense and I couldn’t put weight on my leg for the first 3 weeks or so. But what was also really hard was that I fell over in a public place and I was immediately surrounded by lovely people keen to help me up. However, I knew that I couldn’t get up easily as I was 158 lbs heavier than I am now. Instead, I had to style it out and reassure them I was fine and I just needed to remain on the ground for a bit longer… and then somehow get myself off the ground when there weren’t so many people around.

Let’s fast forward to Saturday night just gone when I headed to a nearby park, around the lake, around the ornamental gardens for a long walk. I’d been sitting down all day working and I just wanted to stretch my legs. It’d been raining all day and I found myself in an area without a hard path and…. I fell over! I just started to slide in the mud and ended up falling in a rather graceful yet comical way right onto the ground! I didn’t hurt myself at all but what really struck me was that I just bounced back up! Just a push to the ground with my hand and I was soon back on my feet. THAT is a non-scale victory 🙂

And apologies before I go. Last Friday was a full-on day for me and I completely forgot to blog but I’ll be back on Wednesday. I’m going to talk about comments regarding weight loss which I started to touch on last week and then, on Friday, I’ll give you an update about where I am with the atypical anorexia. As ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
137 lbs13 lbs171 lbs25.9
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 54 weigh-in: I’m back in my little red dress!!!!

Hey guys

AAGGHH!!!!!! I’m so amazed that I’ve got back into this dress but, before I show you, let’s take a look at this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 2 lbs
  • My weight’s now in the lower 170 lbs
  • My BMI is now in the lower 26s
  • I’ve acknowledged that I need help and I’ve reached out for support with my eating disorder. So, I’ve an online meeting later on today with a specialist.

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard…
  • Drink more water and less diet soda

Erika’s next target(s):

  • 2 lbs until my BMI is in the 25s!!!!!
  • 3 lbs until I can go horse riding at a nearby stables (although I can ride elsewhere)
  • 3 lbs until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 8 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (just over half a stone!)
  • 8 lbs until I’ve lost half of my original weight!
  • 15 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

I am BEYOND excited today! I bought a little red dress 25 years ago which I’ve worn in public once but I managed to try it on again 10 years ago when I lost a lot of weight. Clothes have come and gone in that time but this dress has remained in my wardrobe as the ‘When I can get back into this, I know I’ve done well‘ piece of clothing. I was sorting out my clothes earlier and thought I’d try it on…. guessing that the zip wouldn’t go all the way up but, yes, it did! This is such a non-scale victory!

I’ll be back on Wednesday but, as ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
135 lbs15 lbs173 lbs26.2
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 52 weigh-in: One year of blogging!

Hey guys

Today’s blog comes from a rather bleary-eyed Erika who, based in the UK, stayed up until the early hours watching the Oscars! But, yes, I’ve now blogged for a whole year and I can’t thank you enough for joining me on my journey. Honestly, I truly appreciate it. I know things are getting a bit serious at the moment with the atypical anorexia and I’ll find out this week about how the eating disorder is affecting my body but, right now, let’s crack on with this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 2 lbs
  • My weight’s now in the 170 lbs!
  • My BMI is in the 26s

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard …

Erika’s next target(s) along with the big ones!

  • 2 lbs until I’m the same weight as 10 years ago
  • 3 lbs until I’ve lost 11 stone in all
  • 3 lbs until I’ve lost 90% of my excess weight
  • 4 lbs until my BMI is in the lower 26s
  • 8 lbs until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 13 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (under 1 stone to go!)
  • 20 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

A very close friend came round to my home at the weekend but, because of Covid, I hadn’t seen her for months. As she walked into my garden, her first words were “You’re so tiny!” Although I have lots of loose skin, the thing I found when I was this weight 10 years ago is that I get to the point where I’m heavier than I may look. 10 years ago, I had people telling me not to lose any more, despite me actually being overweight. So it makes me wonder how I’ll look when my BMI does get into the healthy range… but I’m not looking too far ahead. I’m just focusing on that next pound. That’s how I’ve got this far… one step, one pound at a time.

I’ll be back on Wednesday but, as ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
130 lbs20 lbs178 lbs26.9
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

THIS shows me how far I’ve come!

Hello guys

Sometimes, I find it hard to think back to where I started off 14 months ago except that I weighed 329 lbs. However, yesterday, I was flicking through my Filofax where I found something I’d written. It’s not dated but I seem to recall it being reasonably close to the beginning because, weeks later, we were in lockdown and therefore I certainly wasn’t meeting friends for lunch! Anyway, this is what it says…

I now feel more comfortable when I’m asleep

I don’t feel the fat around my neck so much

I got behind the restaurant table when I met up with Claire

I walked to the post box there and back without stopping

I don’t get out of my breath when I walk upstairs

The sofa no longer squeaks when I sit down

#small things #tiny goals #Illgetthere

This is precious! This illustrates how far I’ve come on this journey. Little things, eh?! Yes, it’s good to look ahead to our goals but goodness it’s great to glance in that rear view mirror to see where we’ve come from and smile!

Love Erika xx

Week 49 weigh-in: skinny fingers… loose rings!

Hello folks

Before I tell you about the rings, let’s check out this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 3 lbs
  • My weight’s now in the lower 180s
  • My BMI’s in the 27s
  • My BMI and waist size are now smaller than the average for women where I live
  • My in-laws saw me yesterday wearing jeans for the first time in about 10 years
  • I bought spinach!! Yep, I’m not really a fan of veg so I just need to come up with a plan now
  • I had the blood test that my GP ordered last Monday so hoping that no news is good news

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. finding this hard

Erika’s next target(s) along with the big ones!

  • 1 lb until I’ve lost 85% of my excess weight
  • 2 lbs until I’m halfway through the overweight category (with a BMI of 27.5)
  • 2 lbs until I’ve lost 10.5 stone in all
  • 3 lbs until I’m under 13 stone
  • 5 lbs until my weight’s in the 170s
  • 19 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (that’s under 1.5 stone to go)
  • 26 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

So, yes, my engagement ring is loose and I can now slide it to the end of my finger. My wedding ring is also loose and so you can probably my next ring-related goal! Not that I’ll actually take off my rings though as I’ve worn them continuously since our wedding coming up 25 years ago but, you know, I thought my fingers looked slimmer yesterday so I’m super excited 🙂

I also realised an incredible coincidence yesterday…. when I get into the ‘healthy’ BMI range, I will have lost just over half my original body weight! Yes, I’ll be down from 329 to 165…

I’ll be back on Wednesday but, in the meantime, hope you have a good couple of days. As ever, please feel free to share your diet/ weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since blogging:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
124 lbs26 lbs184 lbs27.8
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 45 (less 1 day) weigh-in: No longer obese!

Hey guys

Although I do my official weigh-ins on Mondays, today is one of those days to throw the ‘How Erika Blogs‘ rulebook out of the window! I was sitting here on this Sunday drafting my blog but I just had to cave into the demands of the ‘publish’ button as there are many positives to share this week. What I must be mindful of though is to not slam on the brakes and take my eyes off the long term goal. When I finally got out of the ‘morbidly obese’ category last summer, it felt as if I’d completed some ultramarathon and I became too lax once I crossed the finishing line… before talking a huge gulp when realising that, yes, whilst I’d reached a huge milestone, I wasn’t yet at the end of my journey. And in fact, will there be an end? No, not really because even when I do hit ‘goal weight’. maintenance is probably going to be an entirely different animal to get to know and tame. But let’s check out this week’s report card:

What’s Erika done well this week?

  • I lost 5 lbs
  • I hit Onederland! Yes, my weight is now under 200 lbs
  • I’m now in the ‘overweight’ category…. with my BMI having gone from 50 to under 30
  • I’ve now lost more than 75% of my excess weight
  • I’ve continued to keep myself hydrated

What could Erika improve on?

  • Nothing… 🙂

Erika’s next target(s):

  • 1lb until I’ve lost 9.5 stone
  • 1 lb until I’m light enough to go horse riding at a local stables… naked!!! I might want to lose a few more pounds so that I can get under the maximum weight that allow for my clothes, boots, etc. 😉
  • 2 lbs until I’m under 14 stone
  • 4 lbs until my BMI is under 29.5
  • 8 lbs until I’m in the 180s and I’ve lost 10 stone

So, there’s been lots to celebrate and I can’t deny that I’ve been buzzing. But actually, I’m also struggling too with weight loss, my body and how I’m feeling about it which I’ll talk about more later in the week. Don’t worry.. it’s not going to be a ‘woe is me‘ post! It shouldn’t be too depressing to read!! But I guess it’s important to acknowledge that going on a journey like this isn’t always a bed of roses and it can bring up all kinds of feelings, some expected, some not. Until then, please feel free to share your own experiences including celebrations or frustrations and any questions you’d like to ask me…

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since blogging:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
111 lbs39 lbs197 lbs29.9
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

After losing 130 lbs, I’ve reached ONEderland!!!!!

Oh. My. Word! I’ve done it!!!!!!

— ❤ —

For anyone who’s only just now coming across my blog, a huge ‘hello” to you! I’m just a regular 40-something year old who’s on a huge weight loss journey and who, as of today, has lost 130 lbs since 14th February last year. 21 lbs were lost prior to blogging and then a further 109 lbs since posting 2 – 3 times a week sharing in my inner most thoughts.

Part of me thought I’d never see my weight go below 200 lbs but part of me did….. and it’s because I visualise success. Like when I wanted to fit into my jeans, I pictured myself wearing them, how I’d feel, etc. and that really helped spur me on. And I pictured seeing the scales show my weight beginning with a 1 and that’s exactly what I saw this morning. If I can picture where my journey’s heading, I’m more likely to stay on it…. at least, that works for me!

For major milestones, I treat myself and I’ve bought two things to celebrate this one:

  • Apple Air Pods Pro which I’m having delivered tonight (I love companies that can deliver the same day!)
  • A little charm to go on my keys which is a number ‘1’. Thing is, if people see this charm, they won’t know the significance of what it means to me but it’s my secret reminder of how today feels.

And do you know what? I’m just 2-3 lbs away from another HUGE milestone as I’m almost out of the obese category. My BMI started out at 50 so this feels like a massive accomplishment……

I’ll be back on Monday with my next official weekly weigh-in but spoiler alert… there’ll be lots of positive things to celebrate 🙂

Wishing you a great weekend

Love Erika xx