Week 68 weigh-in: I DID IT!!!!

Hello guys

Oh….my…..goodness!!!!! I started this journey almost 18 months ago at a weight of 329 lbs and my BMI at 50. My goal? To lose 150 lbs in addition to the 21 lbs I’d already lost. The thought of getting out of the obese or overweight categories seemed like a pipe dream but I knew that I had to just focus on each tiny goal at a time and not see it as a diet. As time went on, I dared to wonder if I could get down to my 1996 wedding weight of 170 lbs before our silver anniversary later this month with the aim to lose the rest by the end of 2021. But I passed this milestone early and therefore I wondered if I really could reach that ultimate goal of 158 before the anniversary. Well, I’ve done it! Today, I’ve hit 157 lbs which takes me more securely into the healthy range with my BMI now 23.6…. and that’s including significant excess skin. In fact, I cannot recall EVER EVER EVER being lower than 156 so I do plan to lose another 2 lbs to see 155 magically appear!

— ❤ —

From 329 to 157 lbs!!

329325320315
310305300295
290285280275
270265260255
250245240235
230225220215
210205200195
190185180175
170165160158

— ❤ —

BMI from 50 to under 25 (but actually now under 24!)

5049.54948.5
4847.54746.5
4645.54544.5
4443.54342.5
4241.54140.5
4039.53938.5
3837.53736.5
3635.53534.5
3433.53332.5
3231.53130.5
3029.52928.5
2827.52726.5
2625.525<25

— ❤ —

No longer being super obese (BMI 50+)
No longer being morbidly obese (BMI 40-49.9)
No longer being in the upper obese range (BMI 35-39.9)
No longer being obese (BMI 30-34.9)
No longer being overweight (BMI 25-29.9) because I’m a HEALTHY WEIGHT! (BMI 19-24)

— ❤ —

However, I’m still going to blog at least once a week for two reasons. First, as those who’ve been following my blog will know, I’m currently in treatment for atypical anorexia and I hope that being open about this struggle will help at least one person out there. Second, the next stage is about maintenance and that’s why I set myself the target of getting to 158 lbs. This is 7 lbs into the healthy range and I don’t expect to remain this exact weight. However, by keeping an eye on my weight and giving myself a 7 lb buffer, I can allow my weight to slightly fluctuate (which is normal!!) but have a point at which I’d want to take action again if I go into the overweight category. I’m hoping this is a healthy approach to maintenance.

I’ll be back later this week to talk through things non-scale related. You see, when I started out on this journey, I used visualisation to imagine how things could be if I was anywhere near my weight loss goal in terms of how I’d feel. So, I’ll be back to share how life has totally changed, not just the scales, and I’ll also tell you about a weekly class I’ve just signed up to start next month which will keep me fit. As ever, please feel free to share your own weight loss journey, your achievements, your frustrations, whatever’s on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight lossStill to lose:Current weight:BMI:
172 lbs 0 lb157 lbs23.6
Including 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

After extreme weight loss, excess skin photos and a plan!

Hey guys

Well, after talking last week about the various ways that I can deal with excess skin, I’ve been thinking SO much about where to go from here. Whilst there’s a place near to me that offers skin tightening through radio frequency and I’ve been on the verge of arranging a consultation there, I’ve come to a conclusion having looked at the before and after photos on the website. They really don’t appear to show a massive difference, even though the ‘before’ photos seem to be of people with less excess skin than me.

Before I share my plan, here’re some photos of just some of my excess skin….. this feels a bit scary but, hey, this is me after losing more than half my body weight!

letting it hang

Literally holding it all in… well, as much as possible with one hand!
I could feel low about this…..
… but this shows me how far I’ve come

Realistically, I think surgery would be the way forward to get as close to a dream body and whilst we could afford it, I guess I don’t want it badly enough to brave going under the knife! I’m lucky in that it doesn’t really cause me too many physical problems… certainly nothing I can’t deal with.

So, I’ve decided that my plan going forwards is going to consist of two things. First, weights! Yes, I’m going to lift weights to minimise my bingo wings and perhaps get some definition in my body. I’ll start with weights at home but might find a personal trainer too. Second, I’m going to wear clothes creatively. I shared this photo recently revealing the skin on my arms but also the corrugated-card effect on my legs. Whilst I was a bit proud that I could share this photo, I also had an overwhelming feeling that I’d need to live in jeans and maxi dresses……

…but I’ve bought a tea dress and, with dark tights and boots, it’s really given me a lift that I could perhaps get creative with clothes. Yes, I guess I’m still covering up but in a way that wearing something like a tea dress is actually liberating. So far, as you can probably guess from some recent posts, I’ve worn it only in my bedroom so my family hasn’t seen this but I’m going to set myself a challenge to wear this in front of my family by the end of next weekend… before aiming to wear it out of the house…. possibly?? At least in the dark first!!!

I’ve suspected for some time that I may have lipoedema or something similar as my legs became large when I hit puberty. My mum delightfully referred to them as ‘tree trunk’ legs….. mmmmm!! And I guess it’s no wonder why I feel conscious about them. It’s been interesting to see if my lower legs have reduced in size as I’ve lost weight but they still feel disproportionate….. but dark tights and a smile on my face will hopefully not lead to people glancing twice!

I’ll be back on Monday with my latest weigh-in after a VERY exciting day planned for this Sunday when I tick off something else from my weight loss bucket list.

Have a good weekend everyone

love Erika xx

Week 66: I ‘flew’ on the world’s fastest zip wire!

Hey folks

So, first of all, no weigh in this week after all as I was away yesterday morning and I don’t know….. Monday morning has always been the time when I’ve taken the figure on the scales as my official figure. But I will update you next week.

However, why was I not here dutifully standing on the scales? Because I went away this weekend and had a blast! I spent a couple of days in beautiful Wales and, with it being my first trip away in 18 months due to Covid, I can’t tell you how much fitter I felt now that I’m more than 160 lbs down. I was climbing over walls, strolling along mountain streams and almost running up stairs! But I also got to tick off something on my weight loss bucket list. I went on the world’s fastest zip wire which, at over 1.5 km, is also Europe’s longest. This is something that I could haven’t done 18 months ago due to being over the weight limit.

I did have a moment of absolute panic. I didn’t realise that I had jumped onto some scales, revealing my weight to a young guy behind the counter. As part of the check in process, I was asked to stand on an X which I did without questioning, assuming it was some type of ID thing. It wasn’t until I got off that I realised what I’d done. But as I say, it was a moment of absolute panic. That moment came to an end and it would have been merely a figure to him before moving onto the next. The other moment that I found hard was when I was kitted up and had staff working there tugging at the harness that I’d been strapped into. Some parts of me are bony but I also have an incredible amount of excess skin which I’m struggling with and I felt horrible but I could put those thoughts aside (until I had therapy later in the day) and get on to have one of the most thrilling, exhilarating, liberating experiences of my life.

The dreaded scales… but I survived!

There are two zip lines at Zip World in north Wales (about a 20 minute drive from Bangor) and, on both, you lie horizontally, flying through the air whilst attached to the overhead cable. Flying over the quarry and the turquoise water below was thrilling enough on the first one and then, after a 15 minute ascent to the second launch station, it was a mere 55 second drop but wow wow wow!!!!!!! I LOVED it!!!! It’s actually really exciting to be discovering that I’m someone who loves outdoor pursuits and who knows what more I’ll be doing as I start to accept and perhaps love me and my body.

About to launch from the lower of the two zip lines
After the first zip line, it’s a 15 minute ascent by army truck to the top launch station
Time to launch!
See ya!

Well, I know what’s next. I’m abseiling from the UK’s highest sculpture next Sunday, I’ve a helicopter lesson in September, I’m horse riding in September (plus hopefully some other activities I’m looking into for my trip to Cornwall) and then I’m driving a Ferrari in October. These are all things that I was previously too heavy or large to do at 329 lbs. If you’re on a weight loss journey and you find yourself feeling stuck, my advice is to imagine what you’d like to be able to do at your target weight – whether it’s imagining yourself wearing size ‘X’ or doing some incredible activity. If we can visualise our future success, perhaps it makes it more likely we’ll get there and not feel stuck where we are at the moment.

I’ll be back later this week as I’m making the call tomorrow to a place about treatment for excess skin. I might even share a photo of me wearing a tea dress – something I’ve wanted to wear for a while ❤ and then next Monday I’ll be sharing my new weight and chatting through all things abseiling-related!

Love Erika xx

P.S. Just throwing in a couple of photos of my walks around Snowdonia

The lonely Tree of Llanberis – yes, that really is what it’s known as!
Blessed with beautiful weather on my 24 hour trip in Wales

Over 160 lbs lost: my bravest photos yet!

Hey guys

I’m currently not weighing myself because I was forever getting on and off the scales, probably about 10-15 times a day. But I’ve decided that today’s a good day to be brave and share some photos with you. Part of me feels really nervous, especially as one of them shows just some of my excess skin (oh, there’s a lot more, trust me!) but a bigger part of me is celebrating! I’ve had so many clothes in my ‘can’t get into that yet‘ pile but I can now get into everything I own – all US size 8 (size 12 UK). Right, Erika…. deep breath, girl! Here we go…..

Okay, I’m still here! I survived after sharing these! My next step is to look into how to deal with the excess skin because it’s stopping me from getting into the next size down but I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin. The main areas are all round my thighs (including saddle bags), my upper arms, my knees, my butt (woah, TMI there!!!!!) and my upper and lower abdomen. I found somewhere last night that does non-surgical treatment that I’ll be booking an appointment with. But I’m a realist and I know there’s only so much skin that can be dealt with but it’s about balance, I guess. Let’s see what I can change and what I can’t, and take it from there 🙂

Wishing you a lovely weekend everyone and I’ll be back on Monday

Love Erika xx

Week 60 weigh-in: I went on FIVE zip wires!

Hey folks

Okay… more about that in a moment. Let’s take a look at this week’s report card:

What’s happened this week?

  • The session with the specialist eating disorder dietitian last Monday has resulted in me managing to take in an extra 200 calories a day. I’ve still a long way to go but I’m getting there even though it’s hard. You know, that session has been instrumental and I’m getting some more specialist support at the end of next week.
  • I’ve discovered blue berries! Well, I’ve eaten them before but only in muffins!
  • I got out there and pushed my comfort zone at Go Ape.

What could Erika improve on / next targets?

  • I need to increase my calories by another 200 calories a day but I’m worried. I know that I need to keep pushing this comfort zone.
  • Stay off the scales. I managed to stay off the scales for a few days but that habit is creeping back in.

— ❤ —

So, Go Ape! Wow! Yesterday, I went on a two hour tree top adventure which has venues all over the UK. The course was split into 5 sites that each began climbing a rope ladder, navigating my way over bridges whilst attached to a harness, doing swings into nets and 5 zip wires. It’s really odd because I thought I’d be panicky about whether the equipment would take my weight but I felt so confident and, yes, I discovered that I love zip wiring!

As ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind and I’ll be back later in the week to talk about living in my new body and having fun 🙂

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss including 21 lbs lost before bloggingStill to lose:Current weight:BMI:
164 lbs (haven’t weighed for a short while)7 lbs165 lbs24.9
Plus 21 lbs lostPlprior to blogging

I’ll be swinging like Tarzan on Sunday!

Hey everyone

I’m asking myself today what on earth I’ve signed up for! Last night, I found myself on the website of a local place that offers a range of physical adventures and I’ve now got 2 things in my diary…. both are things that I couldn’t have done 16 months ago due to the weight restrictions:

  • This Sunday, I’m doing the Tree Top Challenge which is a 2-3 hour experience of wearing a harness, going up 25 metres amongst the trees in the forest, swinging into nets, climbing through things, stepping along suspended rings, going down a zip wire and so much more. The one bit that scares me is the Tarzan swing as I don’t mind heights whatsoever but, after booking it, I saw a video of someone swinging on the rope and …. oh…. my ….. goodness! Am I really going to be doing that?!!!
  • And then the following weekend, I’m doing a 1 hour Segway experience through the forest which won’t be so exhausting but will still be something very new for me.

Both adventures are with Go Ape in the UK and wow I’m excited. I’ll tell you more about it when I check in on Monday but this desire to book things comes from a place of wanting to enjoy my new body, wanting to have fun, wanting to have things to look forward to…. and I’m all up for the comfort zone being pushed 🙂 Not sure about the chance to take photos but I’ll see what I can do!

Hope you have a great weekend

Love Erika xx

I could fit in the seats at the funfair!

Hi everyone

So, apologies that it’s been nearly a week since I’ve blogged. I just needed to give myself a break from the weekly weigh-in but I wanted to share with you that I let my inner child play last night. I went to a funfair on Brighton Pier which is on the south coast of England jutting out into the English Channel towards France. Brighton is a very popular and wonderfully vibrant city where people can truly be individuals and it’s a city that’s just a short train ride from London. In fact, it’s where I got engaged!

Yesterday, on a gloriously warm evening, I headed down to Brighton. I didn’t plan to go on any funfair rides and I assumed that the pier itself would be closed but, as I drove past, I found it was very much open, much later than usual as many people were soaking up the sun. I have to say that I hesitated for a moment when I reached the end of the pier wondering how daft it’d be for a 40-something year old going on rides but sometimes you just have to not worry what others will think and play. Before I knew it, I was going down the helter skelter on a coil mat, sitting on a horse on the carousel, being strapped into a rollercoaster and then being tossed about on another ride that made me very glad I hadn’t just eaten! But the best feeling was that I could fit into the seats! My head hasn’t caught up with the fact that I’ve lost 164 lbs so far but once I managed to fit on the first ride, that worry soon disappeared.

So, I’ll be back on Monday with a bit of an update with the professional support regarding atypical anorexia as I’ve finally found somewhere there’s been brilliant so far but more about that in a few days.

Hope you have a great weekend, everyone

Love Erika xx

BMI from 50 to 24.9!!!!!

Hey guys

Yes, my weight is finally in the ‘healthy’ range with my weight down from 329 lbs to 167 lbs since February 2020 and I’m now just 1 lb away from losing more than half my body weight. That actually feels quite significant to me now that I write that and I never thought I’d get here. It seemed like a very long way off when I started this journey but it’s always been about focusing on the next tiny goal. However, being really open with you, it’s such a really mixed, surreal feeling.

On the one hand, yay!!!!!!! I’m SO excited! The last time my weight was in the healthy range was about 30 years ago. I’m wearing the clothes that I want to wear, I’m no longer easily getting out of breath and I’ve far more energy. There are lots of other happy stats like my waist and body fat now being in the recommended range so there’s no denying that I’m completely chuffed to bits.

But on the other hand, I don’t feel that I can truly celebrate this moment which is really disheartening. As others who’ve been following my blog will know, I’ve fallen into the traps of a serious eating disorder. I’ve lots going on at the moment with waiting to hear back from a specialist eating disorder dietitian and from the local eating disorder service.

Now that my BMI is in the healthy range, I guess it’s understandable that I’m desperate to stay here! But I wonder if increasing my calories (even a little bit) will then lead to some weight going on with my body desperately holding onto any extra food in fear of how little food it’s had in recent months. And that scares me. But, at the same time, whilst my BMI is healthy, I need to get my body and brain into a healthy place too and perhaps increasing my calories will lead some fluctuation as my body adapts. I guess what’s important is that I look at the wider picture and as long as I don’t eat more than my body needs, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to stay here in the healthy range in the long term. But, yes, now tackling my eating disorder is really the next goal.

I really hope you all have a great weekend everyone and I’ll be back on Monday to see if that extra pound has come off… and, if it hasn’t, well, is there really any rush? No, not really. Safety first, Erika. Safety first 🙂

Take care

Love Erika xx

Week 55 weigh-in: I fell over…but I got up again!

Hey guys

More about the blog title in just a moment but let’s start with this week’s report card…

What’s happened this week?

  • I lost 2 lbs
  • My BMI is now in the 25s!
  • I drank far more water than normal

What could Erika improve on?

  • Increase my calories…. yes, still finding this hard…

Erika’s next target(s):

  • 1 lb until I can go horse riding at a nearby stables (although I can ride elsewhere)
  • 1 lb until I’m at my wedding weight from nearly 25 years ago
  • 2 lbs until my weight’s in the 160s
  • 6 lbs until my weight’s in the healthy range (that’s less than half a stone!). I do wonder how much my excess skin weighs though because it’s possible that this could account for the remaining 6 lbs but let’s not go there!
  • 6 lbs until I’ve lost half of my original weight!
  • 13 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range

So, back to my blog title which isn’t about falling off the diet wagon and getting back on track! About 3 years ago, I had a really bad fall when I did a lot of tissue damage throughout my left leg and ended up on crutches for 6 weeks. In fact, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t broken a bone as the pain was so immense and I couldn’t put weight on my leg for the first 3 weeks or so. But what was also really hard was that I fell over in a public place and I was immediately surrounded by lovely people keen to help me up. However, I knew that I couldn’t get up easily as I was 158 lbs heavier than I am now. Instead, I had to style it out and reassure them I was fine and I just needed to remain on the ground for a bit longer… and then somehow get myself off the ground when there weren’t so many people around.

Let’s fast forward to Saturday night just gone when I headed to a nearby park, around the lake, around the ornamental gardens for a long walk. I’d been sitting down all day working and I just wanted to stretch my legs. It’d been raining all day and I found myself in an area without a hard path and…. I fell over! I just started to slide in the mud and ended up falling in a rather graceful yet comical way right onto the ground! I didn’t hurt myself at all but what really struck me was that I just bounced back up! Just a push to the ground with my hand and I was soon back on my feet. THAT is a non-scale victory 🙂

And apologies before I go. Last Friday was a full-on day for me and I completely forgot to blog but I’ll be back on Wednesday. I’m going to talk about comments regarding weight loss which I started to touch on last week and then, on Friday, I’ll give you an update about where I am with the atypical anorexia. As ever, please feel free to share your diet / weight-related successes, frustrations or anything else on your mind.

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since starting to blog:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
137 lbs13 lbs171 lbs25.9
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Being a ‘healthy’ weight is finally just around the corner!

Hi guys

You know, there’s a page on my blog that I sometimes forget to update as my weight loss journey continues. Yesterday, I realised that I needed to tick off a few more goals I’d achieved and, wow, the visuals illustrate how my BMI and other stats are getting so much nearer to the ‘healthy’ category… something I couldn’t have dreamt of. So, today’s blog is basically showing you what’s given me a lift today as I start on the homeward straight…..

– – – ❤ – – –

Ticking off every 5lbs of weight loss (starting at 329 lbs…goal is 158…. though 165 puts me in the healthy range)

329325320315
310305300295
290285280275
270265260255
250245240235
230225220215
210205200195
190185180175
170165160158

Ticking off half BMI points (starting at a BMI of 50…goal is under 25)

5049.54948.5
4847.54746.5
4645.54544.5
4443.54342.5
4241.54140.5
4039.53938.5

3837.53736.5
3635.53534.5
3433.53332.5
3231.53130.5
3029.52928.5
2827.52726.5
2625.525<25

Getting under each (UK) stone/half stone (1 stone = 14 lbs) Started at 23 stone 7…goal is 11 stone 4 though 11 stone 11 puts me in the healthy range (I’m 5 foot 8)

23.52322.522
21.52120.520
19.51918.518
17.51716.516
15.51514.514
13.51312.512
11.5 11 4lbs

Weight classifications

No longer being super obese (BMI 50+)
No longer being morbidly obese (BMI 40-49.9)
No longer being in the upper obese range (BMI 35-39.9)
No longer being obese (BMI 30-34.9)
No longer being overweight (BMI 25-29.9) because I’m a HEALTHY WEIGHT! (BMI 19-24)

You see, my journey is all about focusing on the next tiny goal as I could have easily felt disillusioned at the beginning of this journey thinking that I’d never get to where I’m at.

I’ll be back on Monday with my weigh-in. To be honest, I’m dreading next week as I have my ECG and I heard a couple of days ago that my blood test has shown something that my doctor wants to talk about…. so a potentially challenging week next week but that’s not now! I’ve a weekend to enjoy first and I hope you enjoy your weekend too ❤

Love Erika xx