So, I’m back to my weekly weigh-ins after me and the scales were becoming inseparable! For anyone seeing my blog for the first time, hello! Whilst I’ve now lost 170 lbs altogether, I’ve currently getting support from a specialist eating disorder dietitian with upping my calorie intake as I’ve fallen back into atypical anorexia. Part of me is pleased that I’ve lost more weight and my body shape is really changing (although I’m also carrying a lot of excess skin). Part of me is hearing my dietitian’s voice who is amazing but gives me a good talking to with a glint in her eye! She’s very keen that I maintain and that the focus is now on eating well rather than obsessing about the calories. But I’ll tell you a bit more about that later in the week.
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I’ve lots of positives to share:
- I’m eating more calories (but more about that Thursday or Friday)
- I’m eating a wider variety of food
- I’m discovering my sense of style with a very different body shape
- I’m discovering that I’m an adrenalin junkie! Click here to read about going on the world’s fastest zip wire last weekend. I was also going to do something yesterday but it was cancelled due to high winds but I’ve rebooked for the end of August
- I’ve booked an optician’s appointment for this Wednesday which is the first time for years – I used to avoid it as I wasn’t sure I could fit in the chair and, for the last appointment, I asked for a home visit. But, on a mission to overhaul my appearance, I’m looking to update my glasses and / or return to wearing contact lens
- I’m going to colour my hair this week – deciding on dark red or very darkest brunette
- I’m heading out shortly to buy something to help my nails grow. They’re shockingly short – just a bad habit rather than nerves but it’s something I tend to be ashamed of. So, yes, another part of ‘Project Me’ to focus on making the most of what I’ve got.
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And a few things on my mind / that I’m working on:
- I had therapy today and there was lots of discussion about finding a new hobby. I’m very much someone who needs space… but I need to connect with others more too. Again, I’ll talk this through another day but I guess I’m feeling a little bit lost in this ‘still-worried-about-Covid-new me-new body-who am I‘ world…
- I think I have a small umbilical hernia after my digestive system has ground to a halt – again something that the dietitian is helping with. But the thought of seeing a doctor and prodding me scares me a bit – body confidence and all that.
- Us Brits are known for having bad teeth…. and I am one of them! People have commented that they think of me as being really smiley (which I am!) but I’m aware that I need to look after my teeth better so I’m going to make an appointment with a dentist once I’ve plucked up the courage
- There’s going to be a wider family get-together at the end of August and I’m really worried. I haven’t eaten in front of anyone but my immediate family for the past 18 months and I’m dreading the whole food thing. Yes, I’m eating more than I was but I know that I have a way to go and I don’t want to rouse suspicion that I have an eating disorder. But the get together isn’t today – so let’s put that one aside
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I’ll be back later this week to update you about the latest food plan from my dietitian. She’s really pleased that I’m getting there but goodness she’s relentless! She said today that she needs to keep pushing up the calories so that I’m well enough to do these adrenalin-fuelled adventures and look after this body of mine…. and I hear her. But it’s definitely tricky getting out of the 18 month long diet mindset I’ve rather enjoyed! But I’m work in progress… perhaps we all are in our own way…?
Love Erika xx
|Recordable weight loss||Still to lose:||Current weight:||BMI:|
|170 lbs||1 lb||159 lbs||23.9|