Week 67 weigh-in: here’s where I’m at…

Hello guys

So, I’m back to my weekly weigh-ins after me and the scales were becoming inseparable! For anyone seeing my blog for the first time, hello! Whilst I’ve now lost 170 lbs altogether, I’ve currently getting support from a specialist eating disorder dietitian with upping my calorie intake as I’ve fallen back into atypical anorexia. Part of me is pleased that I’ve lost more weight and my body shape is really changing (although I’m also carrying a lot of excess skin). Part of me is hearing my dietitian’s voice who is amazing but gives me a good talking to with a glint in her eye! She’s very keen that I maintain and that the focus is now on eating well rather than obsessing about the calories. But I’ll tell you a bit more about that later in the week.

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I’ve lots of positives to share:

  • I’m eating more calories (but more about that Thursday or Friday)
  • I’m eating a wider variety of food
  • I’m discovering my sense of style with a very different body shape
  • I’m discovering that I’m an adrenalin junkie! Click here to read about going on the world’s fastest zip wire last weekend. I was also going to do something yesterday but it was cancelled due to high winds but I’ve rebooked for the end of August
  • I’ve booked an optician’s appointment for this Wednesday which is the first time for years – I used to avoid it as I wasn’t sure I could fit in the chair and, for the last appointment, I asked for a home visit. But, on a mission to overhaul my appearance, I’m looking to update my glasses and / or return to wearing contact lens
  • I’m going to colour my hair this week – deciding on dark red or very darkest brunette
  • I’m heading out shortly to buy something to help my nails grow. They’re shockingly short – just a bad habit rather than nerves but it’s something I tend to be ashamed of. So, yes, another part of ‘Project Me’ to focus on making the most of what I’ve got.

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And a few things on my mind / that I’m working on:

  • I had therapy today and there was lots of discussion about finding a new hobby. I’m very much someone who needs space… but I need to connect with others more too. Again, I’ll talk this through another day but I guess I’m feeling a little bit lost in this ‘still-worried-about-Covid-new me-new body-who am I‘ world…
  • I think I have a small umbilical hernia after my digestive system has ground to a halt – again something that the dietitian is helping with. But the thought of seeing a doctor and prodding me scares me a bit – body confidence and all that.
  • Us Brits are known for having bad teeth…. and I am one of them! People have commented that they think of me as being really smiley (which I am!) but I’m aware that I need to look after my teeth better so I’m going to make an appointment with a dentist once I’ve plucked up the courage
  • There’s going to be a wider family get-together at the end of August and I’m really worried. I haven’t eaten in front of anyone but my immediate family for the past 18 months and I’m dreading the whole food thing. Yes, I’m eating more than I was but I know that I have a way to go and I don’t want to rouse suspicion that I have an eating disorder. But the get together isn’t today – so let’s put that one aside

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I’ll be back later this week to update you about the latest food plan from my dietitian. She’s really pleased that I’m getting there but goodness she’s relentless! She said today that she needs to keep pushing up the calories so that I’m well enough to do these adrenalin-fuelled adventures and look after this body of mine…. and I hear her. But it’s definitely tricky getting out of the 18 month long diet mindset I’ve rather enjoyed! But I’m work in progress… perhaps we all are in our own way…?

Take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight lossStill to lose:Current weight:BMI:
170 lbs 1 lb159 lbs23.9
Including 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 9: an extra weigh-in as I can’t help myself!

Hey folks

When I shared the results of my weekly weigh-in on Monday and told you that I was just 10lbs away from no longer being morbidly obese, I suspected that I had some water retention (time of the month and all that!) Anyway, I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost another 3lbs since then which means:

  • I’m now under the 270 marks (as I’m 269)
  • I’m 7lbs from no longer being morbidly obese
  • My BMI is now under 41
  • I’m 5lbs from being able to do the longest zip wire in the UK (weight limit 264)
  • …..and so much more!

If you’re new to my blog, please do check out the ‘When I lose weight, I will…..’ page as it has all the things I want to do as I get smaller and lighter.

I’ve done 15 minutes running tonight (Couch to 5K week 3 run 1) and I’m just buzzing. I honestly couldn’t walk 200 metres back in February without being in pain.

And I just wanted to share a couple of items of clothing I’ve bought to slim into. They’re both UK size 14 (US size 10, I think?) but they’re 3/4 length trousers which I’ve never worn and a Superdry hoodie. I’ve a long way to go but I’m I’m visualising how I’m likely to feel wearing these and I’m sure I’ll reach my goal.

Anyway, Friday night, I’ll update you about the food I’m eating but have a great couple of days

Love Erika xx

Week 3 weigh-in: I was brave!

Well, it’s Monday and that means it’s time to share with you the results of standing on the scales this morning: I’ve lost 5lbs this week! Yay! Now that I’m 290lbs, I’m just 3lbs away from my previously known heaviest weight of 287lbs and I guess I feel as if I’m heading back into familiar territory, if that makes sense. There’s something wonderfully comforting about that.

But my even bigger news to tell you is that I got on the scales ON MY OWN! As you know, I’ve been hauling a chair onto the scales with me as I’d been too scared to see my ‘real weight’ and, suspecting the chair was about 28lbs, it gave me a rough idea of how much I actually weighed. However, on Saturday night, I was almost tying myself in knots researching the chair online, desperate to find a website that would give me its exact weight. I mean, what if the chair weighed 21lbs and therefore I was 7lbs heavier than I thought I was? It was like I couldn’t switch off and so, recognising that I needed to stop the obsessive thoughts, I knew I had to be brave, get on the scales alone and ‘just’ deal with it. So, I got on to find that the chair really is 28lbs! Yes, it was a relief that I’d estimated the chair correctly but you know, it was more of a relief that I could now deal with my new lifestyle in a less complicated way.

Hopefully I can lose 3lbs soon and reach that first big goal but I’ve also been thinking about the activities I’d love to do that have a weight limit, such as going on a zip wire or having a helicopter flying lesson. Just knowing that I CAN do these activities will be amazing but more about that next time!

Have a good week, everyone

Love Erika xx

Total weight lost:Still to lose:Current weight: BMI:
33 lbs117 lbs275 lbs41.8

Week 2 weigh-in: Two milestones met already

With my second weigh-in this morning, I really hoped that I’d lose a good amount. Of course, it’s important to lose weight at a sensible rate but I’ve also read that the more you have to lose in the first place, the quicker it can come off when starting the new lifestyle journey…..and the scales did not disappoint! 6lbs lost! I’m certain that this figure will slow down to perhaps 1 or 2 lbs a week but I hope it’s okay to say that, in the meantime, I’m really chuffed. However, as well as the weight loss, it also means that I’ve now reached two milestones. First, it means that I’m now under 300 lbs. Part of me is SO happy yet another part is thinking how on earth did I get to 300lbs over the past few years. I do feel ashamed but dwelling on it isn’t going to help. But the main thing is that I’m now making myself home in the 200 club which I hope will be a welcoming place to be as I pass by before moving onto the 100 club at some point. The other milestone is that my BMI is now 44.9 so I’ve got under the 45 mark

The other thing I did this morning was to take my official ‘before’ photos from the front and side. They’re not great viewing and they won’t show my weight loss so far (including some weight loss before I was brave to weigh myself a fortnight ago) but perhaps I can be brave and share these with you some time. I’m a bit nervous about that to be honest. Perhaps it’s about being judged and revealing my body when I go to lengths to hide it usually so I hope you’ll be kind! Hopefully when I get back into those skinny jeans and leather knee high boots that I last wore in 2012, I can look back at the photos to see how far I came.

I’m still doing my 40 minutes of walking each day around my living room and I’ve started to increase the number of repetitions when doing my upper body exercises. You know, it was only a few months ago when I remember my back hurting from just standing up to do the washing up so my fitness is getting there. How I’d love to run a 5K one day! Never say never! Long term goals are just as important as the short term ones.

Finally, I’ve decided that I will start to weigh myself without the huge chair that I hold above my head as I get onto the scales! From what I’ve read online, I think the chair weighs 28lbs so, once the scales suggest that me and me alone may actually be under 20 stone, perhaps that’s the time to ditch the chair and get on ‘naked’!!!

If you’re on your own journey, please feel free to share your successes and challenges here

Stay safe everyone

Love Erika xx

Total weight lost:Still to lose:Current weight including the chair!
13 lbs137 lbs323 lbs

Week 1 weigh-in: moving my body helped!

Hey guys

So. before I tell you how much weight I’ve lost in my first week since weighing myself, I thought I’d tell you about exercise. No, I’m not about to tell you that I’ve been doing yoga, going for a 5K run or cycling for an hour everyday. if only I could do those things! Before starting to control what I eat, I would get puffed out just walking up the stairs. I’d circle the car park to get the nearest parking space to the store. I’d avoid sitting on the floor as there’s no way I could get up again without a real struggle.

As I mentioned the other day, I’ve started to control my food intake since 14 February (and I’ll share with you soon about what led to this) and, in this time, I’ve lost 5 inches from my hips and 3 inches from my waist purely by cutting out any snacks between meals. Back in February, I was far too scared to jump on the scales so I grabbed the tape measure instead. However, after me and the chair got on the scales a week ago (which revealed a TERRIFYING figure even taking into account the weight of the chair), I felt that I needed to start moving my body so, for the past 7 days, I’ve walked for 40 minutes……around my living room! Now, this hasn’t been 40 minutes in one go. Goodness, no! It’s been broken down into 4 lots of 10 minutes and I think breaking it down has helped, especially with the TV or radio on as helpful distraction. And, since Wednesday, I’ve also been doing exercises to work on my upper body whilst sitting down made up of:

1. stretching my arms out and doing small circles forwards and backwards 20 times in each direction (repeated later in the day)

2. 60 air punches with each arm towards a clock sitting on my mantlepiece (repeated later in the day)

3. starting with a prayer poise, raising my arms slowly up as far as possible and very slowly bringing my arms down to the side making a huge circle very slowly and back into a prayer poise 10 times (and again repeated in the day).

The key thing is that I’ve started to move my body. It’s not been easy to find the motivation to start this, especially when the sofa is my favourite place in the house! But, since weighing myself a week ago, I’ve lost……..7 lbs. I can’t tell you how chuffed I am! I know not every week is going to be like this and there may be weeks where I think “What’s the point?” but I need to think of the much longer goal rather than let the number on the scales dictate my mood and how I feel about myself. Nothing has felt better than ticking off each exercise activity on my to-do list and feeling as I’m doing something positive about myself.

I’ve only just started this blog but I’m SO grateful to the people following me already. Welcome! My plan is to blog 2-3 times a week with weekly weigh ins, updates on the inches lost, more information about me and my weight battle and so much more…..

Love Erika xx

Total weight lost:Still to lose:Current weight including the chair!
7 lbs143 lbs 329 lbs