Being a ‘healthy’ weight is finally just around the corner!

Hi guys

You know, there’s a page on my blog that I sometimes forget to update as my weight loss journey continues. Yesterday, I realised that I needed to tick off a few more goals I’d achieved and, wow, the visuals illustrate how my BMI and other stats are getting so much nearer to the ‘healthy’ category… something I couldn’t have dreamt of. So, today’s blog is basically showing you what’s given me a lift today as I start on the homeward straight…..

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Ticking off every 5lbs of weight loss (starting at 329 lbs…goal is 158…. though 165 puts me in the healthy range)

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310305300295
290285280275
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250245240235
230225220215
210205200195
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170165160158

Ticking off half BMI points (starting at a BMI of 50…goal is under 25)

5049.54948.5
4847.54746.5
4645.54544.5
4443.54342.5
4241.54140.5
4039.53938.5

3837.53736.5
3635.53534.5
3433.53332.5
3231.53130.5
3029.52928.5
2827.52726.5
2625.525<25

Getting under each (UK) stone/half stone (1 stone = 14 lbs) Started at 23 stone 7…goal is 11 stone 4 though 11 stone 11 puts me in the healthy range (I’m 5 foot 8)

23.52322.522
21.52120.520
19.51918.518
17.51716.516
15.51514.514
13.51312.512
11.5 11 4lbs

Weight classifications

No longer being super obese (BMI 50+)
No longer being morbidly obese (BMI 40-49.9)
No longer being in the upper obese range (BMI 35-39.9)
No longer being obese (BMI 30-34.9)
No longer being overweight (BMI 25-29.9) because I’m a HEALTHY WEIGHT! (BMI 19-24)

You see, my journey is all about focusing on the next tiny goal as I could have easily felt disillusioned at the beginning of this journey thinking that I’d never get to where I’m at.

I’ll be back on Monday with my weigh-in. To be honest, I’m dreading next week as I have my ECG and I heard a couple of days ago that my blood test has shown something that my doctor wants to talk about…. so a potentially challenging week next week but that’s not now! I’ve a weekend to enjoy first and I hope you enjoy your weekend too ❤

Love Erika xx

Week 47 weigh-in: Let’s smash those goals!

Hey guys

When I started out with 171 lbs to lose (including the 150 lbs since I started to blog), I knew that if I focused on only my long term targets, they’d feel insurmountable. Perhaps I wouldn’t have even started! So, I’ve been including my short term goals on my weekly report card, those within my reach. However, today marks the day when my two ultimate scale-related targets are added! Yes, I genuinely feel that I’m getting closer and closer to my target weight so I’m going to let myself imagine how it’s going to feel and, you know, I’m beyond excited!

What’s Erika done well this week?

  • I lost 4 lbs
  • I’ve now lost more than 80% of my excess weight
  • My weight’s now in the lower 190s
  • My BMI’s in the 28s

What could Erika improve on?

  • Nothing… 🙂

Erika’s next target(s) along with the big ones!

  • 2 lbs until my weight’s in the 180s
  • 2 lbs until I’ve lost 10 stone in total (that’s 10 x 14 lbs)
  • 4 lbs until my BMI’s in the lower 28s
  • 26 lbs until my weight is in the healthy range (that’s under 2 stone to go)
  • 33 lbs until my ultimate goal so that I have a 7 lb buffer to stay in the healthy range!

To anyone who’s reading this who’s perhaps at the start of their journey or finding it hard to stay on course, I really want to instil some confidence to say that you CAN do it! Honestly, I’m just a regular 40-something year old who’s not following any particular diet, not spending money on gym membership (but instead working out for free), not devouring many vegetables, etc. One of my biggest tips is to blog! This is very much a headspace journey as much as it is about changing my body and thinking aloud here helps me to ‘sort out’ my head! I guess I feel accountable to give a weekly update with my weigh-ins and there’s no denying that I love it when I get comments from wonderful people like Matt and Ang ❤

So, upcoming posts over the next few weeks include:

  • plotting the dieting history on a time line
  • keeping healthy when life gets busy
  • tips to not give up on your weight loss journey
  • identifying non-scale victories

I’ll be back later this week but, in the meantime, take care

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since blogging:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
117 lbs33 lbs191 lbs28.9
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Week 46 weigh-in: Revealing my timescale to hit a ‘healthy’ weight

Hey guys

Although I’ve recently hit some huge milestones, it’s important to remember that the other victories matter too. As I blogged a while back, it’s never ‘just’ another pound and I’m still punching the air when I see the scales shift for each pound. So, let’s crack on with this week’s report card:

What’s Erika done well this week?

  • I lost 2 lbs
  • I’m now light enough to go horse riding on the beach
  • I’ve now lost more than 9.5 stone
  • I now weigh less than 14 stone
  • My body fat percentage is no longer in the highest category
  • For the second week in a row, I finished a whole iceberg lettuce before it went off!

What could Erika improve on?

  • Nothing… 🙂

Erika’s next target(s):

  • 1 lb until my BMI is under 29.5
  • 3 lbs until I’ve lost 80% of my excess weight
  • 6 lbs until I’m in the 180s and I’ve lost 10 stone

This August, I’m celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary – 25 years of being married to the most amazing husband ❤ On my wedding day, I weighed 170 lbs (BMI 25.7) and, although this upcoming date hadn’t been part of my weight loss journey per se, the timing couldn’t be more perfect for a double celebration. My initial thought was about getting down to my wedding day weight but, of course, I’ll go the extra few pounds to get my BMI right into the healthy range. I’m all about mind games and anything to make goals feel very achievable and I’m so excited that this target date feels within my reach. In UK-weight-speak, I’m now 13 stone 13 lbs and my wedding day weight was 12 stone 2 lbs so I just need to work my way through the 13s and then the 12s to first reach my wedding weight… one pound at a time.

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since blogging:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
113 lbs37 lbs195 lbs29.5
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Being brave and going out during daylight!

Hey guys

I don’t usually blog at the weekend but I’m currently on a walk and, unlike the walks I’ve gone on so far this week, it’s daylight! In the past hour, there’s been sunshine, rain and even hailstones but after feeling a bit meh today, I thought I would get out there and dust off any negative thoughts 😀 So, these photos won’t mean much to anyone else but, to me, here’s me saying that I don’t need to hide away! It’s okay to be seen. I’ve even discovered a monastery hidden deep in the woods. Despite living in the village for 18 years, there’s so much more still to discover…

Time to head home as my ears are frozen but I’ll see you on Monday for my next weigh-in

Love Erika xx

After losing 130 lbs, I’ve reached ONEderland!!!!!

Oh. My. Word! I’ve done it!!!!!!

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For anyone who’s only just now coming across my blog, a huge ‘hello” to you! I’m just a regular 40-something year old who’s on a huge weight loss journey and who, as of today, has lost 130 lbs since 14th February last year. 21 lbs were lost prior to blogging and then a further 109 lbs since posting 2 – 3 times a week sharing in my inner most thoughts.

Part of me thought I’d never see my weight go below 200 lbs but part of me did….. and it’s because I visualise success. Like when I wanted to fit into my jeans, I pictured myself wearing them, how I’d feel, etc. and that really helped spur me on. And I pictured seeing the scales show my weight beginning with a 1 and that’s exactly what I saw this morning. If I can picture where my journey’s heading, I’m more likely to stay on it…. at least, that works for me!

For major milestones, I treat myself and I’ve bought two things to celebrate this one:

  • Apple Air Pods Pro which I’m having delivered tonight (I love companies that can deliver the same day!)
  • A little charm to go on my keys which is a number ‘1’. Thing is, if people see this charm, they won’t know the significance of what it means to me but it’s my secret reminder of how today feels.

And do you know what? I’m just 2-3 lbs away from another HUGE milestone as I’m almost out of the obese category. My BMI started out at 50 so this feels like a massive accomplishment……

I’ll be back on Monday with my next official weekly weigh-in but spoiler alert… there’ll be lots of positive things to celebrate 🙂

Wishing you a great weekend

Love Erika xx

The fear of the doctors’ scales… part 2

Hey

Stop reading!! If you haven’t yet read part 1 about how scared I am to reveal my weight to any medical professional, I’d encourage you check out this link first. For those who’ve read part 1 or perhaps don’t have the time / inclination to read it, I’m going to recap what happened at the end of Wednesday’s blog where I started a conversation with myself. In this imaginary (but pretty realistic) scenario, I’ve been asked to get on the scales. I’ve refused because, well, I’m terrified (along with a huge dose of stubbornness!). The doctor wants to explore this much to my annoyance but I don’t want to look too much like a rebel so I’m trying to cooperate. And I’ve started to share why it’s okay for me to know my weight (and share it on my blog) but why I’m terrified for making this figure official to a medical professional. So, let’s carry on with the conversation….

  • Hey Erika, so, what did you take away from our conversation on Wednesday?
  • Yeah, it was useful to explore my thoughts. I don’t know whether they made any sense whatsoever but I know how my irrational fear of scales, anything body or medical related is getting in the way of engaging with the practice. And this is going to sound really bad but if I suspected that I might be seriously ill, I don’t know how willing I’d be to even make an appointment… which isn’t good. So, yes, it’s made me think over the past couple of days.
  • That’s great. So, p’haps you can share a bit more about your thoughts?
  • So, I really get that knowing my weight is important in terms of monitoring my health and I also know that getting on scales is something that probably loads of people do without a second thought or making some huge song-and-dance about it. And, yes, I know this figure is about where I’m at today, it’s soon going to go down anyway, my weight is only one part of me, it doesn’t define me, blah, blah, blah. I get all of that.
  • Erika, I get where you’re coming from and people have fears about all kinds of things. Needles, flying, spiders, dogs….and your fear is about me knowing your weight. But you’re recognising there’re good reasons to jump on…
  • (Thinks to self: Is she about to ask me to get on?) Mmmm…..
  • So, let’s stop talking about it. Just get on. Just face the fear. Think of all the things you’ve overcome during the years, much bigger and more serious things than a pair of scales. It’s just an object. It’s just a figure. So, c’mon.
  • (Help. I want to, I don’t want to, I want to , I don’t want to,,,,) But what if…
  • (Doctor interrupts)….c’mon. Stop talking. Just get on.
  • (I just want to cry and run away but I know she’s right) Okay, here goes (Why am I crying? Seriously girl!!!!)
  • ….and you can get off. You did it. You got on. How’re you feeling?
  • (Takes a deep breath). Mixed. Ashamed. Proud. Embarrassed about turning this into a huge ordeal. But I got on. Nothing bad happened.
  • Exactly. And, yes, you know your weight and, yes, your BMI’s in the 31s but you mentioned on Wednesday that you’re putting things in place. You’re SO close to getting out of the obese range. How much weight have you lost since last year?
  • Yeah, more than 120 lbs.
  • That’s amazing!! I don’t need to give you advice or anything like that as you’ve got this. Do you know what your BMI was?
  • 50
  • Wow, Erika, you’ve done this without bariatric surgery. Many people think surgery is the easy option but it’s not… not when it comes to sustaining weight loss. But you would’ve qualified for that.
  • Yes, I did contemplate if surgery might have been the way to go and I’m really pleased I’ve done it without as I’m working on my head and my whole attitude. So, thank you. Yep, really pleased. Done it. Think I’ll tell my blogging pals now!

When I finished part 1 on Wednesday, I truly didn’t know whether I’d get on these hypothetical scales. But, in my head, I’ve got on. I don’t know why but going through this process has unearthed that a lot of my fear is about getting told off for my weight. And I wonder if it links back to a comment someone made during my first pregnancy when I gained weight early on. Perhaps. I wasn’t expecting that revelation but it’s helpful to think about where fear originates from in order to make sense of it. So, yes, I did get on. And I survived to tell the tale. And if I really do get on the scales one day, I’ll be sure to share this with you!

Sunday marks exactly one year since I started this journey (though I’ve blogged since April) so I’ll be back on Monday with some reflection and my next weigh-in but wishing you all a great weekend

Love Erika xx

The fear of the doctors’ scales

Hey guys

I’m feeling creative today! When exploring how even the thought of being weighed by a doctor sends a shockwave through my body, I’ve decided to deviate from my usual style of blogging and do it through the art of conversation that will give you insight into how my delightfully complex mind works. “A conversation? From sitting behind your keyboard, Erika?” Yes! I might be writing this script by imagining that I’ve been asked to get on the scales and every part of me just wants to run out of that room, close the door and never return. But I guess what I’m tapping into are the different voices or parts of ourselves that bring out our reasonable or rebellious personality traits. I could try to dress this up as a Freudian’s psychodynamic exploration of the human psyche but let’s see where this conversation takes me. Let’s set the scene. It’s Wednesday morning. I’ve spent the past two weeks feeling the anxiety intensify since making the appointment for a check-up and I’ve somehow got myself into the consultation room with a doctor.

  • Okay Erika, if you’d just like to jump on the scales please.
  • (Thinks to self: Well, it’s not a question of ‘just’ popping on, thank you very much! Why did I make this appointment?!) I’m really sorry but I don’t want to. (Notices puzzled look on doctor’s face)
  • Ah, why’s that?
  • All I know is that scales scare me and I don’t want to get on.
  • I hear you. I’m not exactly going to force you on there but perhaps we can talk this through.
  • (Nooo, I don’t want to verbalise my thoughts because I’m trying hard to come across as a competent adult and you’re going to realise that I have these illogical thoughts. But I need to give the impression that I’m playing ball here… as long as this does not end with me jumping on the scales!). Okay, that sounds useful.
  • So, Erika, when I say about jumping on the scales, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?
  • Fear. Immense fear.
  • Right, I hear that. What’s the fear about?
  • Because if I get on the scales, you’ll then know my weight. That makes me feel uncomfortable.
  • Yes, I guess I’ll see what it says. Do you know what your weight is?
  • Yes, I do.
  • Okay, is it safe to say that this is about me knowing your weight?
  • 100%, yes! I guess I want to be so much lighter than I am now but I’m working on that and I’ve actually been blogging about my weight loss over the past year. I record my weight on there (Erika, what’ve you done?!!! Why mention the blog? What if she now comes across it and works out who you are! I mean, doctors are clever. She’ll know it’s me!)
  • So, you feel comfortable sharing your weight with people you don’t know?
  • Yes as I can hide behind my keyboard. I guess it feels safer.
  • You’re doing great talking about this with me, Erika. Let’s keep going with this as I think we’re getting there.
  • (Noooo! Can’t we stop there?!!. I know for a fact you’ve got a long patient list today). Mmmmm, right.
  • Okay. So, do you feel embarrassed about your weight?
  • Yes, I know I’ve come from being super morbidly obese and that’s not where I am now… but I don’t want this figure to become official on my health records.
  • But you mentioned that you’ve made amazing progress over the past year and seeing the figure just shows us where you are today – not where you’re going end up with the work you’re putting in.
  • True
  • Anything else?
  • Well, I know I have a history of eating disorders where everything becomes about numbers, such as calories eaten, calories burnt, heart tracing stats, blood test stats, etc. I just feel uncomfortable if everything becomes about the figure on the scales too. I think I could get obsessive about that figure. Not that I’m going to suddenly restrict as I have in the past to extremely low levels but I guess I’m aware that sharing my weight could make me desperate to lower it incredibly quickly… perhaps out of shame.
  • Well, I hear you Erika and, yes, there’s much more to eating disorders than BMI so it’s one figure amongst many. Does that make sense? And just think that you’ve made some huge changes to the way you think about food so whilst you think you could suddenly restrict, that won’t necessary happen. Try focusing on the long term goals, like changing your relationship with food, if you haven’t already.
  • Yes, it does make sense and, yes, that’s true.
  • Erika, can you think why I’d like to know your weight?
  • Yeah, all the health risks linked to being overweight or obese. I know my blood pressure’s absolutely fine and my BMI’s reduced lots but what if you then put me on the obesity register…if there’s such a thing. I wonder if I’d feel more comfortable about this once my BMI goes under 30 (Drat!!!!!! Stupid Erika! She now knows I am obese….and there I was tying to disguise this with my choice of clothes!!).
  • Mmmm, you’re great at deflecting, are you, Erika!!!! So, once your BMI gets to 29 point something, you’ll jump on? Or will you tell me that you’ll feel more comfortable once your BMI’s under 25?
  • (Foiled!!! She’s good at this!) Yeah, it’s like you know me. It might come across like I’m not listening and I’m not taking on board what you’re saying but I am. Honestly. I need to think about this. Can I call you very briefly on Friday about this?
  • Okay Erika. I know you’ll think it through. Why not share this conversation on your blog? Do you think that will help?
  • Oh, I’m one step ahead of you there, doctor!!!!!

Wow, okay, that’s far longer than I thought it would be with no resolution yet so, y’ know, I’m going to do part 2 of this conversation with myself on Friday. I’m going to keep you in suspense for now as I don’t know whether I’m going to get on the hypothetical scales at the end of this but this has helped. And thank you for bearing with me, you lovely group of people!

Love Erika xx (EDIT: feel free to read Friday’s blog here to see how the conversation ended!!)

Week 34 weigh-in: questions to ask yourself if you have a few ‘bad’ days

Hey guys

Well, this is just the 2nd time since starting to blog when I’ve had a week that hasn’t been great food-wise. However, I guess the focus of today’s blog is to hopefully give hope that just because we have a week like this, it doesn’t mean that we can’t refocus and get back on our journey. So, instead of my usual Monday report card, I’ll talk you through how my mind’s working today.

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What happened this week?

Three things. First, I injured myself doing jumping jacks so I’ve had to keep my feet up (not an excuse to eat more though!). Second, I just relaxed too much. Getting into the 210s after starting out at 329 felt like a huge achievement and I almost had the sense of reaching the end of a long, arduous race but no! I’m still 59 lbs away from my goal. Third, I ate more carbs than normal…which seemed to make me crave them even more.

But…I’ve still stayed away from chocolate, cookies and sweets….and I can still do up the button on my jeans.

*******

How has this left you feeling?

I’m mainly disappointed with myself and I guess kinda embarrassed too. I knew I’d be blogging today and I couldn’t bring myself to get on the scales this morning. I’ve always promised to be honest with you because I want my weight loss account to be real, whatever happens. However, with my usual positive outlook on things, I guess I’m feeling determined to turn this around for myself and I’m hoping that this helps at least one other person out there.

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What are the reasons to get back on track?

Because I’ve come SO SO far! 112 lbs lost including 21 lbs prior to blogging. And I’m just 18 lbs away from being under the 200 mark and just 21 lbs from no longer being obese. Plus I’ve been buying a new wardrobe with clothes that I can’t wait to wear. Erika in shorts by summer 2021? Oh yes!!!!

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So, where do you go from here?

Today, I’ll visualise those scales showing 199 lbs and how that’s going to leave me feeling.

Today, I’ll question whether I want that slice of bread or want to see 199 lbs.

Today, I’ll exercise as much as I can and I’ll focus on what I can do…and not what I can’t.

Today, I’ll accept that further weight loss isn’t going to happen unless I make a change and step it up again.

And tomorrow, I’ll get back on the scales and face whatever the figure shows.

*******

So, I’ll be back on Christmas Eve / Christmas Day but, as ever, please feel free to share your own successes, your own frustrations or whatever’s on your mind in the comments. And to everyone who follows me, thank you! Truly. I don’t feel like I’m alone on this journey and it really means so much.

Love Erika xx

Recordable weight loss since blogging:Still to lose:Current weight:BMI:
91 lbs59 lbs217 lbs33
Plus 21 lbs lost prior to blogging

Lockdown and weight…I’ve won!

If you’d told me on New Year’s Day that we’d be under lockdown and asked what that would happen to my weight, I would have told you that it would pile on. With my business on hold, none of the usual volunteering sessions to do and none of my travels happening, I’m sure that the weight would have crept on whilst reaching out for yet another biscuit! Back in January, I knew I was big but, feeling disconnected to my body, I didn’t know how big I truly was.

February

And then something clicked in my mind in February when I knew I had to cut out the snacks and restrict my intake. And so healthy eating was happening and I estimate that I probably lost about 20lbs judging by the inch loss. But for me, diets then stop after 3 weeks. I get bored! I yearn for a toffee-cream Éclair!

Lockdown comes

However, by that 3 week point, we were very much seeing COVID-19 cases increase and then boom. Lockdown! Suddenly, we had to plan our meals. We couldn’t walk into shops as easily. I had so much time on my hands that could have lead to boredom and eating. But in fact hearing about the high percentage of overweight and obese people succumbing to the virus made me see that I could use this time to focus on me. What a precious gift that is! And so I started to blog, I started to create a daily workout, I finally got on the scales without hauling that huge chair with me and my weight is going down! Lockdown 0 – Me 1!

I’m back to work on Tuesday and part of me is a bit concerned about will I be able to maintain this journey? Well, yes! Okay, so my leg is injured AT THE MOMENT and I’m on crutches AT THE MOMENT but I’m still working out and watching everything I eat. So, if I want weight loss badly enough, I will make it work. I have had so many hits on this blog by people in the US (hello!) and I’ve been watching lots of US weight loss programmes like Fit to Fat to Fit and My 3000lb Family. These have been invaluable to watch…as I exercise of course!

A final note

And, yes, Monday is my next weigh-in. A note here for you girls because it’s almost the time of the month and perhaps I’ll gain a few pounds temporarily but I can still be good, still look after me and then see the weight loss afterwards. But bearing in mind that my periods have only just come back due to my weight loss (yes, I was so heavy that they stopped for 10 years), that’s a small price to pay for better health!

Have a great weekend everyone and I’ll be back on Monday

Love Erika xx

Time to confess my starting weight…

…in a moment! Yes, I am openly procrastinating typing the weight that showed up on the scales a week ago. If you read my first post, you’ll see that I actually got on the scales holding a huge chair to artificially inflate the reading and to make it all a little bit less real! That might sound jolly weird but my mind is a strange place, you know! But, knowing roughly what the chair weighs, I’ve got a good idea what my weight is.

With this being just my second post, I thought I’d share the topic of some upcoming posts so that you can keep an eye out if they might be of interest:

  • making the decision to lose weight
  • starting to exercise when you’re puffed out just walking up a flight of stairs
  • avoiding getting trapped by a history of bulimia and anorexia
  • looking at whether my life hold clues about why I’ve never had a good relationship with food
  • overcoming the weight loss speed bumps
  • looking to the future with things I’d like to do when fit

…and much more. As I said before, I’ll be really open with you as I’m not pretending that this is going to be a walk in the park. There are going to be sticking points, I’m sure, but hopefully I’ll learn lots about myself in how I tackle the challenging times.

Okay folks. Time to give a figure……..me AND the chair together showed up as 336lbs (which is roughly 152kg). And breathe, Erika! There it is. I’ve told you. At some point, I’m sure I’ll be brave enough to jump on the scales all alone but, for now, however I do the weighing thing, at least I’ve got the ball rolling and that figure is only going to go down!

Have a good weekend

Love Erika xx